Love Bites

I Think Nice Guys Do Exist

2012-02-13T22:06:00.000-05:00

Have I met one of rarest species on Earth??? The nice guy…

A week ago I went to the pub to have a drink for a solo celebration of my divorce being finalized. Towards the end of the night I ended up meeting a couple of guys. The conversation was easy… Could have had something to do with the number of beers had but anyway…I felt comfortable handing my number over. The next day I get a message to catch up again that night. Why not? What have I got to lose…

Nice Guy Indicator #1…. I got a text from him saying that he was going to be 5 minutes late. That made a very good impression. For one I don’t like being late. If anything I’m always early. I don’t like being kept waiting so I don’t make others wait for me. But these days people will just show up 5 minutes late. They don’t give you a heads up.. After all it is only 5 minutes.

So we had a few casual drinks. It was pretty much a get to know you kinda thing… What movies do you like? Music? Etc But still easy and comfortable. May have made the mistake of telling him about this blog because he is probably reading this right now… So shout out to D!!!!!

Every couple of days he would send a text. And then he invited myself and Miss M (who previously was known as my roomy but because we don’t live together anymore she gets her own name) to go out with him and his friends this weekend.

Nice Guy Indicator #2…. His friends. Although he jokingly called them dysfunctional they were all nice people. Fun and friendly. Easy to get along with. I believe that your friends say something about the person that you are. If you hang with assholes then well… you know.

So throughout the night he managed to throw out a couple of nice complimentary comments. It was fun. But also in a group of people you don’t get much time to spend one on one.
So we ended the night… or shall I say morning, by watching the sun come up on the beach. Something I have never done before.

Nice Guy Indicator #3…. He didn’t try to have sex with me. Massive brownie points here…. He crashed at my place… In my bed… With me… Now correct me if I’m wrong here but for the majority of guys if you are in bed with a girl you like you try to go there. Right? Well he didn’t… Wow.. This surprised me. If there was an attempt I would have shut it down, but I didn’t have to. So what does this tell me??? He is respectful. It wasn’t just about getting laid. Which is pretty much the impression that I get from most guys…

Nice Guy Indicator #4…. Miss M’s opinion. Apart from my sister she probably knows me the best. At times we can finish each others sentences. We can see a look on each others face and know exactly what the other is thinking. So we had a debrief after the night. She has given the thumbs up. He and all of his friends came across as very genuine people. She had a good feeling about it.

I think nice guys do exist!!!!!!

Aussie Gal

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! www.sharetheloveclothing.com

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Remember Me?

2012-01-30T00:29:00.000-05:00

I’m baaaack!!

Whoa…….. What a rollercoaster ride. Time for me to disembark.

Those Biters who have been following for a while would know that I have been MIA for a quite some time.

I’ve been on one hell of a rollercoaster ride for too many months now. Sometimes it was my coaster; sometimes I was a passenger on someone else’s rollercoaster. Didn’t mean it was less scary, but I’m just glad the ride is (fingers crossed) slowing down and coming to an end.

There’s been pregnancies, a complicated birth, friends/partners going overseas, breakups, getting back together, couples moving in together, partner’s moving out, job changes, friends hurting each other, health scares………oh too much. Of course I wanted to write about it, I had permission from one of my fellow rollercoaster rider’s to write about what they were going through but didn’t feel it was the right time. In some fucked up way I can see it coming back on me and I would end up in the shit. So better to let sleeping dogs lie. At least for now.
It’s been pretty ridiculous really. My life used to be drama free, but now it just seems to be one thing after another.

So after a while I came to the conclusion that I needed to look after number one. A change in lifestyle was needed. I moved. I now live with 2 awesome girls in a great unit right across the road from one of the best beaches on the Gold Coast. Everything is within walking distance and it is such a vibrant and alive place. I’m meeting new people. Making new friends. And doing new things. I’m even looking at a scuba diving holiday to Fiji towards the end of the year… Yay… My first real holiday… Ever!!!!! Gotta learn how to scuba dive first… lol

I have always enjoyed my writing so I am going to try and make more time to do it. Surely it won’t be too hard to sit on the balcony overlooking the ocean with a glass of wine and my laptop…. Yeah I think I can make time for that….

Aussie Gal

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Friends With NO Benefits

2012-01-28T22:22:00.001-05:00

Did I just fuck up the future because of the past!? Or was there never a strong future in it for me and the single dad? A little bit of both perhaps.

We had a playdate yesterday, single dad and I talked last night after the kids were asleep. I opened myself up to whatever may happen. I spoke honestly and from my heart. I told him exactly what I wanted from our relationship (only because he asked me to) I opened myself up to be hurt. And that's what happened.

I want a trusting, authentic relationship, I want to be in love. I want to feel the passion and love that I've had in the past. I give people and situations chances where there is passion, love, kindness, caring or potential for any of that. He was honest too, so I'm not mad at him or anything but rather disappointed. He doesn't want any of that, at least not right now. He told me he feels broken, that he needs to put himself back together and that he doesn't trust women. Then he demanded that I go to the store and get him some stuff and that I should hurry back so we could fuck. He was not being sarcastic. WTF?!?! Bi-polar perhaps?

Completely emotionally unstable? I went to the store crying the whole way... and I called my love, the man from the past. The one whose passion and love is incomparable to anything I have ever felt. It may have been 5am where he was, but he picked up and talked to me and helped me calm down. We texted for a good half hour until single dad was so pissed that I'd been gone so long that he kept calling and calling and he knew that I had been talking and texting someone. He got really paranoid. I don't think he has a right to be paranoid if he only want to be friends with benefits.

He seems like he's completely lost in himself, so hung up on the hurt from the past. I just feel sorry for him now. I hope he finds himself and that there is happiness in his future. I'm thinking we can be friends, with no benefits.

Hot Mama

P.S.Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

The Kids

2012-01-28T22:16:00.000-05:00

Single parent dating is so different from normal dating! Ughhhhh! People have many ways of going about it. I have found what I'm comfortable with and I've really tried to stick to it. A friend of mine did it completely opposite of me, in that she introduced her child to new boyfriends within a week or two of dating. Which gave her some help with the kid and I'm sure they got to spend more time together than if she never introduced them, but I remember what her daughter said after the last relationship ended: "Who's going to be my daddy now?" and "My mommy needs to find me a new daddy!"

In the beginning of my single parent dating adventures I never wanted anyone to meet my kids until we were both ready and I knew that if it didn't work out we would still be friendly towards each other. With the first guy it worked for awhile he did meet them once when he was helping me move and I introduced him as a friend. He really didn't seem too interested in them and as time went on, he became jealous of my time consuming motherly duties. So glad I dropped that one! That relationship also taught me that finding a man that has a decent relationship with their mother is important. If a man doesn't respect and love his mother, how can you expect him to respect you as a mother or a woman?? Something I previously didn't pay attention to, now it is a red flag in my book. If the first time I heard my kids' dad say he hated his mother and I knew it was a red flag I probably wouldn't have 3 kids right now!

I've only introduced two men to my kids, one of which I absolutely loved and he was a big part of our lives for all of about 3 months until he moved. We definitely jumped right into it... there was no denying our feelings and he sincerely showed my children love like a father would. My daughter was so sad when he left and she still asks about him, luckily I can tell her how he's doing and where he's living since we're still buddies.

So moving forward.... In my newest relationship with the single dad our kids know each other and they know the other parent as well. They are having to respect both parents rules and I must say they are doing pretty good with it. We all get along with each otherd are very comfortable. Now the tricky part. We've been spending a lot of time together and in the last couple weeks his children have called me 'mommy' quite a few times and earlier this week my oldest son called him 'daddy'. I think I handled it good, each time his kids called me mommy I went over to them and had a nice talk with them stating "uh-oh, did you call me mommy by accident?! You already have a mommy, right? I'm just a mommy to my children and you can call me by my name" Did I handle that right? Hopefully. I asked single dad about it, like if his kids had ever called someone else mommy and he said they hadn't and seemed pretty shocked about it.

Now let's get a little deeper here, single dad has custody 50% of the time, and I have sole custody of my children they haven't seen their dad in months. So his ex has heard from the kids about all the time we've spent together and the fact that I have slept in his bed. She was pissed that the kids knew. I probably would be too if the shoe was on the other foot.

The kids are going to have questions and we will have to provide answers. We are both worried about the kids, what they see and how they feel. My kids think we are just friends, I haven't told them any different. But the thought comes to mind, do I want my daughter thinking it's okay to sleep in a male friends bed? Do I want my son sleeping next to his female friends with the assumption of no commitment other that friendship? No way. Their opinions, standards, and beliefs are being formed right now and I want my kids to be safe, respectful, honest adults with integrity. I've got some figuring out to do.

Hot Mama

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Ready to Love Again

2012-01-26T21:43:00.000-05:00

Possibly I'm not ready to move on. I've really tried but I found myself in bed last night laying next to the singe dad, and I just kept wishing that I was with the one that got away. My heart ached so bad, I held back tears eventually falling asleep. I HATE this! Then I thought of the man before him, we had a passion and love for each other that is unmatched to anything I have ever felt before. We didn't hold back anything, we were unconditionally loved by each other for who we were. Though it didn't last, I was okay afterward mostly because we never left anything unsaid. He moved away to pursue work, he wanted me to go with him but I didn't feel it would be good for my kids to move away from all that they know. So we're still friends, we talk and text and give advice. It's just a friendly kind of love now.

In my opinion it is definitely better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I've loved a few men in my life, all in different ways as the relationships were all so different. I would much rather love someone with all I've got and give into what could be than feel like I'm holding back and holding on to my past. I don't know if he can do the same though and that's what worries me right now. I'm still giving the single dad a chance. I'm giving myself a chance as well.

Hot Mama

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Dating with Kids

2012-01-26T21:31:00.001-05:00

Things seem to be moving forward. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. My past and what will soon be the past helps make me who I am today. Each relationship is different. I have never thought that "all men are the same". I have never entered a relationship expecting (or believing) it will turn out the same as previous ones. Though, I have recently had interactions with people that hold those beliefs. I honestly don't get it. Some people just can't let go of getting hurt in the past. Until you really examine yourself, your values, who you are and what you really want out of life and love you will keep recreating the same vicious cycle of relationships that don't give you want you need and want and in the end fall apart.

So what if you've been cheated on, don't enter a new relationship and then be so paranoid that you look at your partner with a microscope and try to find things that don't make sense and accuse them of cheating. Instead if you have been cheated on, especially if you were cheated on by multiple ex's LOOK AT YOURSELF!!! What is driving these people to cheat on you, what is wrong with you, why did you start a relationship with them, why did you stay and what was missing in those relationships???

I personally have had trust issues in the past. I was a young adult entering relationships, letting myself be "chosen" by someone and then sticking it out way too long even when I discovered neither of us could give eachother what we needed. After a few of those I did a lot of over thinking, reading and writing. I then chose to not get over involved emotionally. I decided I could get most of what I wanted and needed without becoming attached which honestly was a lot of fun, but it led me to "the one that got away". I had found someone that truly liked me for who I was and he wanted some of the emotion he may have wanted more I don't know because I held back. I played it cool, I didn't tell him know how I felt or what I really wanted out of the relationship.

On to the present. The single dad that I met ended up breaking up with his girlfriend. Actually I think she broke up with him because he was honest and told her that he had kissed someone else (me). So we've had a lot of playdates for the kids, we've had sleepovers and we even took all 5 kids out the other night for dinner, video games, bumper cars and lots of sugar. Our kids get along great, they're all BFF's and us adults get along well too. We parent pretty good together, we've cleaned house, had a few snowball fights and are starting to try and learn more about each other beyond our children and parenting.

Things are good. He wants to know more about me, I'm scared. I'm feeling a little lost, my kids are my life! Who am I and what do I like? I know who I was before kids, and that girl doesn't exist anymore. I don't skateboard or longboard anymore, I don't go on adventures in the forest hiking up mountains to natural hot springs, I don't go to concerts (unless they are outdoor and kid-friendly and on a weekend!) There are plenty of things that I like to do, but don't get to do anymore. So where does that leave me? Am I just a mom, who does all things in the best interest of the kids and nothing for herself?

Hot Mama

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Second Chances

2012-01-26T21:19:00.000-05:00

Wanted to see the softer side of me? Well, here goes a taste... About a year ago, I met someone amazing, spent a little over a month dating and enjoying every moment. It ended abruptly and I had no idea what happened.

(Check out the December 2010 archives for blog titles - Blackout and Another One Bites the Dust.)

I will refresh some of you a little: I met someone who "did it" for me and I mean in every way. I woke up thinking about her, constantly on my mind during the day, and before closing my eyes, it was her texts wishing me "sweet dreams". Of my last 3 years of dating, I have only met 3 that gave me a feeling close to this. And for those who don't know, I went on too many dates to recover the thoughts, and feelings she brought out in me. She was amazing (to say the least).. We went out many times, and did all the things I expected a true relationship to blossom... But one night it all ended! I awoke with an empty, lost feeling, and never knew what happened until yesterday. I, out of the blue (after over a year) wrote a email to her.

"Hey there.. This may sound crazy, but at this point it really wouldn't matter if it does. It's weird, but I still think about you from time to time. Maybe cuz I still have the Christmas presents I bought for you, or the fact that you're the coolest person/woman I met in a very long time. Either way, I hope all is well, and I'm truly sorry for whatever happened between us. I still have no clue, (and that sucks) especially cuz I was really happy with you. I just wanted to say hi, hope you're doing good, and it would be great to talk,if even only as friends."

If she only knew the struggles and hardships of even getting close to someone as me and her were, maybe she'd understand. But she is somewhat like me, we scare off easily at the beginnings of relationships. It takes time for certain words, sayings, and things to be done. If these things are done before the feelings are mutual, poof!!!! I'm gone!!. I'm not here to drag things out longer than necessary. So now it's a waiting game and somewhat like walking on a frozen lake until I know it's "safe" again.

So back to "what happened"... We went out one night, had way too many drinks, and that's all I remember..... Not even a word, text, or email afterwards. I was left clueless, and knowing she was more than a fling, I was crushed! After her I dated plenty, and never felt that way again, until yesterday. She actually responded!! I was like a kid in a candy store.. And now texts and coming back slowly but at least they're coming.. She told me, that I got way too wasted and after having to drive me home, it brought feeling of a horrible marriage and that she wanted no part of it. She was sorry for not leting me know what happened, but it was better. It was just as hard for her to explain. She was done with that kind of lifestyle, and it hurt her just as much.

So, sometimes we need to go through these hard times, and tests, in order to appreciate what's right in front of us. After tasting that feeling, I damn sure know I'm not gonna screw it up again.

The Man

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

You were burglarized?

2012-01-17T20:44:00.000-05:00

Apparently my silence and lack of a response meant that I was kidnapped not simply that I'm not that into you! and so the conversation between Tim and my inbox continued with this message today. Mind you I have never spoken to this guy.

"Hey,

I just now realized what must have happened to you--

You must have been burglarized, and the only thing that horrible and wretched thief must have stole was your keyboard. I feel bad now you poor, poor soul... you must have been so traumatized just sitting there staring at my profile on the screen, clicking away futilely and slamming your mouse down in frustration multiple times while cursing the heavens that this had to happen to you today and that there’s no way for you respond to me.

Like I said... luckily for you, I’m an exceptionally perceptive guy. I mean how many other guys would know that is EXACTLY what happened to you with the limited information you gave me :) And since I’m also in the business of solving problems, here’s some solutions to help you get in contact with me:

1. Get some matches, grab 3 garbage cans, and arrange them in a triangle formation to set them all on fire simultaneously. This will create an accurate smoke triangulation signal so I can come over and find you. I'm like a modern-day knight in shining armor.

2. If you don’t have an active match account, you can text me at ***-***-**** so we can continue the conversation... otherwise I'll keep scanning the horizon for your smoke pillar!"

Kate

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

You Can't Be Serious!!

2012-01-17T20:36:00.000-05:00

I reluctantly rejoined the online dating world last week and just as I expected it's only filled with 40 year old virgins and freaks. No wonder I'm still single. I haven't even had the desire to 'wink' at any of the men on the site, let alone respond to a message. Which brings me to the hilarious email I received the other day from a guy who I have never spoken to and after the second email I received today I definitely will never be speaking to.

Here's the first email. Mind you I have never had any correspondence with this guy.

"I like your style in the first pic u have up. The vibe I get is that you seem to be a person that seems to be pretty genuine and fun. I'm sure that's why I came across your profile, since they say like-minded people are drawn to each other!

Anyway I'm sure we could spend all day commenting back and forth about how awesome our profiles are, but I mean let's be honest -- the whole point of this site is just to get a brief glimpse of a person to see if there's a possibility of interest or not.

You might read that I do comedy or that I could make you laugh... you might have an interest in my marketing company or my philosophies on life, but realistically speaking -- I could be a chick for all you know that's just masquerading as a fun guy :)

I'm willing to show you that I'm the latter! Worst case? You might make a cool friend.

I’m Tim, I agree we should continue the conversation. When are you usually most free to chat?"

Follow up email in next blog.

Kate

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

The Marriage of Love Bites and Share the Love

2012-01-13T20:18:00.004-05:00

So here we are in the new year! For all the pain that 2011 brought me, I
am forever thankful for the journey it forced me to take and for the
amazing people it introduced me to. 2012 is an opportunity to continue
growing and evolving and sharing the love.

I've made the decision to not make a New Year's resolution, but to be more
careful and cautious in future relationships. I've always believed that
passion, drive and determination must be the leading reasons for any
relationship, be it personal or professional.

For our new line of clothing, we employ the same boldness and honesty.
We have created a brand of apparel that speaks to both the optimist and the
pessimist about love that are in each of us on any given day.

Moving forward at Share the Love, a caffeine-induced brainstorming
session led to the idea of taking our clothing on the road and driving across
the country, selling apparel at college campuses. If you attend college in a
state between Georgia and California and want to buy our goods fresh off
the truck, hit me up at kate@sharetheloveclothing.com. Details to follow.

Moving forward at Love Bites, I've made the decision to combine my
greatest loves in an online forum that will allow all of you to become
more involved in our growing community. I welcome your thoughts and ideas.

2012 is not about reinvention, but rather improving oneself and learning
from the past. I wish you all a happy New Year, and, as always,
we encourage your input on Share the Love and Love Bites!

With Love,
Kate

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

The Man is Back

2012-01-13T20:16:00.000-05:00

Well here we go again. It’s been some time since I've written on here. I have totally lost interest in sharing my thoughts & stories, but I figured I'd write a little. At one time I actually thought that writing would help answer some questions women have, but so much have changed. It seems many just like clicking "like" on quotes, and most never even take the time to read the blog any more. I have always been upfront and honest and could care less of hurting your feelings. I say & do the things you're to scared to do or try... if you came here looking for someone to tell you the world is full of puppies and fairytales, your in the wrong fucking place!! I’m back for a limited time and not sure what the future holds for me.

I have grown to a point in which I have no feelings for anyone I date or meet. It seems more of a routine to me nowadays. The Internet has totally fucked me up. Its way too easy to say and do just enough to gain interest and get what I want. But let's face it; I'm not getting what I really want. I want to find someone with common interests who can keep things as exciting as I can. But why is it I can't find them all in one person? Let me give a few example dates: Meet, have drinks, get wasted, have sex, and 90% of the time say, "I have to work early, and go home". Next: meet, have dinner, and say "I would love to take my time with this one" and finally after a short period of time, get bored... or see they are the jealous type, and I make excuses and move on. It seems I can't just find one who does it all for me anymore!! It takes a few, and that sucks! I met one: Super cool, pretty, great sex drive, but no ass (and I'm an ass guy). Would it be wrong to buy her a butt, and some tits? Some may say that’s just so wrong, but hey.... I may just stay with her. If she only knew!! Then there are the ones I like, take my time... and when it goes sexual, it just isn’t right!! Grrrr!!

You may call me a dick, or say I'm superficial, but I like someone in shape! And who has a sex drive and knows how to use it! Most women want money, success, and a motivated man, I just want a smart, smokin' hot, barely used hooker type. I could care less what you have, or what you do... as long as you can take care of yourself. Also... I wont have a relationship with someone with 2 kids or more. I may one day want my own or at least have that option! These days women have so many things that alter our views, so we really don’t know what they really look like until it’s too late. (Examples: push-up bras, ass jeans, fake hair, make up, and clothes to transform their bodies into false lies) And you wonder why guys sleep with you once, and never again? Ha!! Now ya know! It was so much easier dating strippers... at least there I saw the goodies before I got em'. Now I got to blow smoke up your ass until I see what you're working with, or you blow it with too much lovey-dovey shit too soon. I honestly don't know how it feels to truly "like" someone anymore. I get let down every time! There is so much more to add to it, but I wont go into details. It’s just way too easy to talk shit to get laid.... I’m tired of talking shit!! I want it to mean something!

Is everyone so fucked up from their past relationships????? You may think I'm totally wrong, but lets see how many of you have been married, divorced, and have kids and still not with that guy. So go ahead and say I'm scared to get hurt, or scared of commitment.... and I'll tell you, No, I just don't want to fuck up my kids life, and raise new strippers, and girls who suck dick on the first date, because of watching mommy dating a ton of guys since daddy. Many of you WANT someone so badly, you lose yourself and you give up your goodies too fast!! And then wonder "where did all the good one's go"? Ummm.... he was the one you fucked after $60.00 of drinks and went home because "he had to work early in the morning" Get mad at me for telling the truth??? Please do!!

The Man

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Brutally Honest Liar

2012-01-09T22:56:00.000-05:00

You all ready for more? I'm excited to hear about Love Bite's getting a makeover to be an online magazine, it just keeps getting better aye? Possibilities are endless! Alrighty... 2012 has started, I'm off and running with no shortage of rambling.

Happy New Year to all! For me, this is going to be another year of changes. All for the good I am sure! This year has started off great and I've been on a new adventure of dating single dads. I was so frustrated with the online dating, and stuck on my last relationship and the one that got away. So when I had basically given up and stopped looking someone else took a chance. It was an awkward meeting, our kids have known each other for the last year. Yet we had never met, until we were seated next to each other in a restaurant and the kids were so excited and wanted to have a play date.

And it took off from there. He seemed nice, we put our kids in daycare for New Years Eve night and got to hang out with some of his friends for dinner and celebrate at midnight with champagne. The kids got to have a sleepover and we got to continue celebrating. We had multiple play dates and the kids get a long so well, and so did we. But I'm so over it. He told me that he had been dating someone, he said it was "nothing serious". What a bunch of b.s. The other night he referred to her as his "girlfriend". It's clear he wants to keep his girlfriend, but have his own little play dates on the side. I've been in that situation before. This time I'm not up for it.

Why can't people just be honest?!?! I am honest, sometimes brutally honest. Unfortunately, those nice guys that actually listen and seem to care they really do finish last. I am completely unattracted to those nice guys. My heart goes pitter-patter for the man, who in the end will end up being the biggest ass of all. I've tried to like those nice guys, but I cannot lead someone on when I don't feel any chemistry. I have tried to have male friends, but I've found time and time again they are just being friends with me because they want to be more than friends. I'm tired of it, I need to either become a lesbian or befriend a group of gay men. Something has got to give.

I want the fairy tale. The one that I have always believed in. Though I have seen no proof that it even exists. I still search, I have faith. It's like video poker, you get so close to winning big and every time you loose you just "know" your going to win the next time. So you keep playing on a vicious cycle, believing that next time you'll be the one. Sometimes you win a little, it keeps you going believing and feeling stronger. Other times just hearing about someone else winning gives you faith that it's still out there and that your time just hasn't come yet.

I am caught in the middle somewhere. It all seems endless, dark and empty. Though I am still faithful to this elusive ideal, I feel hopeless right now. So, again I will set focus on myself to retrieve my inner happiness. I love myself and who I am whole heartedly. I like to feel that I let go of the past easily, but everything that has happened is a part of who I am today. My heart has never been broken (though possibly a little chipped) it has only been made stronger.

Hot Mama (Love Bites Guest Writer #2)

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

The One That Got Away

2012-01-09T22:51:00.001-05:00

I took a chance. I don't generally have unreal expectations. I go with the flow, I don't seem to have my heart on my sleeve. I probably won't tell you or show you how I really feel unless I believe and have seen that you really care about me and that we have a future even if we are not dating or in an exclusive relationship anymore. I guard my heart, I protect my children. But possibly I held back too much and let someone really great get away from me. I got scared that I really liked this man, and in order to protect myself I played it cool. I took it too far though. We have left a lot unsaid. He moved away as he had planned in search of something. We dated for the better part of a year. We took time away from each other and reconnected when the time was right. We never had a big "break up" I'm not up for drama and neither was he.

A man I once dated said "The one that shows the least interest has all the control in the relationship" Is that really true? Possibly. I gave up on that today though. He wins and loses all at once. I emailed him. I don't know if he will respond to it, and it doesn't matter because I said what I wanted and needed to. I will eventually move on and not make the same mistake.

I believe he is the one that got away. I am stuck thinking about him and the times we had. Obstacles are not bad... they just make you stronger, make you hold out for what you really want, and sometimes make you realize that you were headed in the wrong direction. I need something big to happen in order to get over all this. Perhaps someone about 5'10, attractive, confident, well off financially emotionally and spiritually would help!

Hot Mama (Love Bites Guest Writer #2)

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Have a Happy New Year!!

2011-12-22T21:41:00.000-05:00

Eventually everything always comes to an end. Nothing lasts forever; love, friendship and life have beautiful beginnings and endings. Sad or happy ones; it doesn't make a difference as long as you always look back at them with love; as nice memories; or good stories to tell.

This is why, we all need to enjoy every single moment in our life, with real joy, real love and live to the fullest. We only live once, and if we learn to do it right, once is all we need.

There's nothing more satisfying than to live and know what you're living is worth it. Being free, loving freely no matter what, hoping for every new beginning once the current chapter comes to an end.

I wish everyone's beautiful new beginning comes along filled with free spirit, good energy, new friends, and most important, filled with LOVE.

Have an AMAZING New Year. New Chapter and New Life.

Love Bites Guest Writer

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Have You Heard?

2011-12-18T10:20:00.000-05:00

2011 taught me that Love is just another 4 letter word, promises mean nothing, ambition comes at a heavy cost & death never gets easier. It also showed me the power of love, kindness & loyalty that strangers hold. I am forever grateful for the anonymous and not so anonymous souls that helped in the evolution of Love Bites.

Originally, Love Bites was started to make peace with an unfinished past. At the time, it felt like the footprints of once best friends were permanently tattooed on our heart, and although life continued on without missing a beat the words once spoken were not forgotten. Eventually we came to the conclusion that the only way to forget was to change the ending -- and in the process to liberate others to make a stand for what they believe is right. We had no grand ideas or expectations, but the more we wrote and exposed our personal life, the more we forgot about the bittersweet ending. By doing so, we have become a piñata for some and a source of inspiration for others.

Over the course of the last year we have made new friends and lost once-familiar faces. Not everyone has embraced our views on certain events or our opinions on life and love. But through our writing, we have liberated ourselves and found that the path less traveled is pretty freaking amazing. With our new-found voice, we no longer feared the unknown and began to draw outside the lines -- not only with our words, but with our love of brazen apparel. With this mindset, we started to create a line of clothing that not only was an expression of our current state of mind, but was memorable and funny.

After months of hype, we are super excited to announce that our online clothing store is finally open for business. Like our writing, Share the Love clothing is an extension of our inner wild child -- bold, edgy and mysterious. We hope you will Share the Love for our new love, too. Shop the collection at www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Now that Share the Love clothing is finally open, we can once again focus our attention to our blog, Love Bites. Which in the months to follow will be getting an extreme makeover to transform into a edgy & interactive online magazine, filled with all the things we Love. Suggestions on topics are welcome. Stay tuned for more details..

Once again, thank you for being a follower of our humble blog and we hope a loyal customer of Share the Love clothing too. We hope you will keep following the evolution and permanent reminder of a life once lived.

Happy holidays y'all!!

No promise on what will happen after this.

With Love,
Kate

Have you heard? Our online clothing store is finally open for business.

Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor. In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM is the sister wild child to Love Bites.

Blame Game

2011-12-17T19:15:00.001-05:00

How can you trust and fall for someone that has never done anything for you and has not gone out of their way for you? I did, and did plenty for that someone. Gave my friendship, my love, my everything. Not asking for anything in return other than honesty and friendship. Did I get it? No, didn't get a thing. What I got was just realization that this someone didn't appreciate or wanted me in his life. Was I used? No! I did what I did for him because I wanted to, and because I am that giving and caring person. We can't blame others for the choices we make ourselves. Was it worth getting my heart broken for this? Absolutely!! Every single thing we do in our lives is worth it. Life and love are worth it, even if we don't get tht love back.

All we need to do is keep on moving forward and listen to our heart, since our heart is what makes us who we are and in our heart is where we can find exactly what we need. Our deepest desires.

Just like that; our heart holds the key to everything and anything.

So follow and listen to your heart; there's nothing better to know about life than that. Follow and listen to your heart; before it tells you good bye.

Love Bites Guest Writer

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Trust is Earned

2011-12-04T22:14:00.000-05:00

My past, my JSR. I met him when I was 19 and he was a lot older. We were friends and then more. I became pregnant. I never expected to stay with him, let alone have children with him. But it happened. There was no turning back, decisions had been made and I had a future with that man. I dropped out of college, moved in with my parents and JSR went to jail (apparently he was a 3 time convicted felon, on parole with a warrant out) Yea me!

I believed lies from the beginning. I was young, ignorant, and had almost no confidence during that relationship. Until one day I realized that I had (with the help of my parents) raised and supported 2 kids, a JSR and was working full time while pregnant with my 3rd. I had the money, confidence and ability to move out pronto. So I did it. 7 months pregnant I did it. It hasn't been easy. I don't allow JSR to have unsupervised visits with the kids. We still argue. He still wants me back. He buys the kids clothes and toys. Sometimes he gives me money because he feels bad for the last nine years of my life. He thinks money will fix the damage of the past. He still doesn't get it. I was faithful to a man who wasn't faithful to me in any sense. Money doesn't fix that. I have learned from my decisions of the past. Trust is earned, not given.

Hot Mama - 2nd Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Rest in Peace

2011-12-04T22:06:00.000-05:00

So here I am, with a broken heart, thinking that maybe I should just give up on love, give up on you. Never thought this would happen, never thought it would be you the one I would fall for, feeling like falling out of place, out of life. Wishing that I didn’t have the heart I have, so warm, so full of love for you and just be heartless or for me to use it less and less each time. I know I said one too many times “no attachments, just friends”, but the “just friends” it’s an impossible, something unpredictable and something we can’t control.

Although I do wish for your happiness and would love to see you in love and with your “one”, I still refuse to give up on you and will still love you. Will still be forever yours. No matter what happens, I will be happy since to love, is to find the other person’s happiness your happiness. And even though it might hurt to not have you by my side, there’s no doubt in mind that I loved you with every beat of my heart, every breath and every second that went by within my soul and my life.

I don’t regret my love for you, or anything that you and I did, but for now it’s better to let the past to rest in peace and just let it be. Until we meet again, I will remain here waiting for you, and you will remain here as well, in my thoughts, heart and soul, till you come back, my love will proceed to persist for you, and will be locked up with hope, for when the moment comes to let it loose for you again.

I am at your nearest reach, just look over your shoulder. I love you, forever your friend, your lover and your everything…

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

In Love, Pride Doesn't Fit

2011-12-04T22:03:00.000-05:00

In love, pride doesn’t fit, it doesn’t have a place. It’s like trying to mix water and oil, they just don’t go together and well, it causes to be more distant with each other. I know we are human, and well, we’re not perfect, but when living and making a mistake, isn’t the right thing to do is learn from it and not repeat it? Acknowledge what you actually have in front of you. Look around you, look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What do I really need and want, who is there for me?” Learn to admit your mistakes to be able to move onto the next chapter, the next journey and be happy.

Preserve what you already have and the people you do have around that care. Forget what hurts you. Fight for what you want. Value what you possess. Forgive those who hurt you and enjoy those who love you. We’re always waiting for something to pass by or happen our whole lives, and the only thing that passes by and happens is life along with love. We don’t understand the value of the moments we have, till they are turned into memories. This is why; we need to do what we want to do before it becomes something that we would’ve wanted to do. Don’t make your life out to be a sketch, since you might not have time to draw it once more clearly.

If you want to make a difference, make a change, or if you want something you never had; do something you never did. Everything that you are or ever hope to be is completely up to you.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Hot Mama

2011-11-28T07:49:00.000-05:00

Alright, I've been a Love Bite's groupie for quite awhile now and have always looked forward to new Love Bite's blog entries. I have always wanted you guys to have a single mom's perspective on the whole dating/relationship thing so maybe I can offer that? I've had an awful lot of dating and relationship experience these last few years, I still believe in "the one" and I'm still looking or waiting... So below is a bit I wrote to explain where I'm coming from.

I was single for about 2 1/2 years. No boyfriends, nothing. I guess after awhile ago, I forgot how great it was having someone around and a part of my life. Then one day I'd had enough. I didn't have any guy friends that I was interested in, I was a stay at home mom and I turned to internet dating sites. I met one guy and knew from that start it wasn't right. We never spoke again. I got a couple emails from another guy and we moved quickly to talking on the phone, two days later we met. He wasn't the most attractive guy, but we had a good time and the conversation was great. So at the end of the date we kissed and it was amazing... we saw each other every couple days for the next three months, but there was the problem, I have kids and they are a huge part of my world. He thought that he was supposed to be top priority.

He wasn't right for me, and some part of me knew that from the beginning. I never had the urge for him to meet my kids even as we got closer and more intimate. I didn't see a future in it, and I don't believe he saw himself as being a part of my kid's lives. Though I do know he was in love with me, it was a selfish love where he wanted me all to himself and when I started noticing that I felt suffocated. He was 'in love' with me but not loving me as a person, a mother. I also worked full time and had other relationships that were important to me. Time apart is important, but it is a balancing act of the right amount of time. I ended the relationship because of how he reacted to the time apart and me explaining how I felt.

It was ironic, the night I ended it was a day before Valentine's day. I had gotten a babysitter for the night because everyone was busy Valentine's night. He came over all depressed because we hadn't seen each other in nine days, though we had talked twice a day and texted (depressed, seriously????) I thought it was ridiculous, we talked about it and I figured we could still have a good night. I'd already paid my babysitter! So he was still all upset about it and decided to leave, I decided to use my favorite cliche: "It's not you, it's me," and then I explained how I just wasn't ready for that kind of relationship (ya, the crazy kind where a guy is obsessed and calls/texts 20 times a day!) He left, and I called up some friends to go out. And that night starts the next chapter..

Hot Mama - 2nd Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Letting Go

2011-11-28T07:30:00.000-05:00

It's time to let go. It's time for your dreams to take over again without realizing that you’re just living in a dream of your love. I once heard, “Just let it be", and yes, it’s the best you can do. It is impossible to change what's written for us, and impossible to change how we feel about someone when we love.

I can only move forward and pray that the happiness I see, is somewhere near waiting for me. Meanwhile, I just live and enjoy the happy moments that life gives me every day. Always making tough decisions and not looking back, until the time comes for when real “love” arrives, I will keep on going my way, and only hope, you are there at the end of the road. You, my real “love”...

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Don't Forget Me

2011-11-26T19:46:00.000-05:00

Is it possible to forget someone or something you love so much? I wish it was. Although I believe that some people may be able to, it is really hard. I wish I would never feel forgotten, be forgotten, and of course, I wish I would never make anybody feel that way either.

During our busy lives we tend to forget that just a simple "Hi" can make a difference in somebody else’s world/life. And even though I rather forget right now, I'm not strong enough to do so. But I know that eventually it does happen and we’re all able to get our peace of mind.

If I ever made anybody feel forgotten, or hurt anybody, I'm sorry. But at the same time, here I am again, at your reach.
If you love me enough, or I love you enough, there will be no need for explanations; it will be just a simple "Hi" again.

Let's make sure we don't forget the love or friendship there once was. Forgetting the past and moving forward always helps to have a clear mind and being able to start over.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Fly Away Love

2011-11-26T19:30:00.000-05:00

My heart has been broken, but my spirit persists. It has told me that even a broken heart can fly still. So in my sorrow, I will open the cage and set it free again. Go ahead, “fly”. While flying you'll learn to heal again. Don't be afraid to show your immense love, don't shy from it either. Let the world see the scars, for them to realize your vulnerability. But let them see, as well, how strong it becomes when healed, and how big it gets.

Life and the universe will set up your destiny; they know he is somewhere, waiting for you. They also know, only a flying heart will be able to find him. Look up and be grateful, for every day, for every smile, and for always being able to love. Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire; if you did, you wouldn’t have anything to look forward to.

Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn and discover new things, new feelings. Be thankful for the difficult times; during those times is when our hearts grow stronger. Be very grateful for the limitations because they give us the opportunities to improve ourselves. Be grateful for the next breath you take; for it gives you life. Always remember that only a fully healed heart will be open and ready for when that moment of “love” comes. Until then, just fly...

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Remember Me

2011-11-25T20:59:00.000-05:00

When you are down, and can't see what's ahead of you, always remember what you have accomplished. Never let your dreams down just because you can't see them clear at this moment. I've always managed to follow my dreams, the ones deep in my heart, always trying to answer my call. Calls that help me visualize my better future. The future full of happy moments, those moments that will make me laugh as I look back and realize that these cloudy days in my life are just the experiences that I need to have for that better future. Experiences that will stop me from making the same mistakes, which I’ve made plenty of times in the past, experiences that, will make me wiser, as I go along the way.

Once again life has shown me, and reassured me of what I like to do in life. I always knew that I wanted to be a happy person, be loved, be remembered, be giving, because what makes me happy in life is to make a difference in other people’s lives. Today I have done that as a human being. I've learned that I have made a huge difference in the life of a person that I love dearly, and even though it was a bittersweet moment at one point, nothing fills my heart more that knowing that.

Hearing someone tell you that your presence and your experiences have changed them for the best is a great feeling, but knowing it, is immense. A feeling I would take, to make sure and remind myself that I am in the right direction. All I hope is that by the end of my life, the lives I was able to touch will remember me with a smile in their face. And I hope that every person that has made a difference in my life knows that I appreciate them greatly..

Love unconditionally and smile at the world as if you do, you will get rewarded with the same feeling in return but within yourself.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Lost

2011-11-25T20:57:00.000-05:00

The thought of the person of my dreams made me enter into a trance of passion and love that once in it, my mind, body and soul didn’t want to leave. Wanting more and more each time and craving for the love and caring that he brought, was like getting lost in a dream, in a fairytale. The smell of his skin lingering on mine, making me long for the embrace and warmth of this his body pressing hard against mine.

Thinking and thinking I noticed that I was losing control and losing myself for someone that didn’t exist. That wasn’t real since this was all a dream that once awaken from it, it was all going to be gone. Leaving me on my own, realizing that “me” is all I need..

Don’t ever get caught up to the point of losing yourself for someone even if it might seem right at the moment, because when losing yourself, you’re losing everything and the main reason that someone loved you in the first place.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

I am Grateful

2011-11-24T14:08:00.005-05:00

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” - Marcel Proust

A couple days ago I had drinks with a few amazing, smart and witty new acquaintances. How I found myself sitting in their company was a result of technology and social media, but ultimately it came back to my youth and the naive and rebellious wild child I once was.

I am thankful for the mistakes of my youth, for the random chance encounters, the impulsive decisions and drama fueled by passion and rage. I still like to think of myself as this bad ass chick, but in reality I'm just an ordinary gal leading an extraordinary life.

I am thankful for my early twenties when I seriously thought I had life figured out and I wasn't afraid to push boundaries. I was still innocent and naive in both life and love. I believed in fairytales stories and I thought I had found my prince.

I am grateful for the fearless girl who started a blog to bitch about life and love. Because at the time it seemed like the most logical next step.

I am thankful for the person I once was who found comfort and closure by writing. That girl was me, is me, but she does not define me. Even though her actions seem to.

I will always be a passionate person, but I will never be the person who once threw clothes out the window and broke china because I saw it done on TV.

But, there I was talking about my past, about the childish moments of my youth and I wondered if I was being judged for my words of today or my actions of yesterday.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!!

With Love,
Kate

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Addicted to Love

2011-11-24T08:10:00.001-05:00

I once met a broken soul or what I thought was a broken soul, and by trying to fix it, mine got broken too. I met a broken heart, and then mine got broken again. I realized what I knew all along. We are unbreakable and well, Love is an addiction, and unless the addicted soul is asking you for help, there's nothing we can do to fix it.

I wish broken souls would understand that happiness comes and goes. Happiness is a beautiful state of mind in which you can only enjoy if you are happy with yourself. I still hope broken souls would find their way to happiness, and realize that by working hard towards it, can make you happy as well. I regret having my heart and soul broken again and again, but I would never regret the happy state of mind I was in, on those moments when I didn't know the difference and felt free.

There’s only so much you can do when trying to fix something and so much you can take while doing it. All I know is that love is a give and take thing in which we may lose and may win but always learn from.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Reflections

2011-11-23T17:25:00.002-05:00

While searching for love I found a beautiful person. This person was pretty/handsome, smart, accomplished, sweet, and with a great heart. This person taught me that love is pure and that it can be found in so many ways. This person also taught me that living with it is much better than living without it. That life is so much easier when you have Love around you and in yourself.
This person told me not to give up, and if I fall to just get back up and keep on going, even though it might hurt sometimes, it is alright.

Never imagined at this stage of my life that I would feel this way about love. That I would finally know what it means to love and to be in love, like I've never been before. Maybe I'm just letting my heart speak for myself, but this person told me that our brains may not be able to comprehend this level of emotions that we can experience so deeply in ourselves.
I wish love would be the dictator of our lives, but then again, I'm just wishing. I thank this beautiful person for the teachings that I have learned, I give thanks with my own life because thanks to love, I've discovered that this person was me all along and thanks to love I found myself..

Always have faith and confidence in yourself, and believe that you’re the only one strong enough to overcome anything and everything that may occur in your life.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Replacements

2011-11-20T22:20:00.001-05:00

I've been writing less and less on here by choice. This blog will never be what it once was. I don't think I could handle another broken heart or unnecessary drama. I am not the same person anymore and part of that is as a result of Love Bites.

I respect my private life now and want to keep as much as possible hidden from the public arena. But, by doing so I am left with very little material to write about. I hope one day soon I will be in a place where I once again feel comfortable exposing my most intimate thoughts for anyone and everyone to read.

If it were just anonymous strangers peeking into my life I would be completely fine, but unfortunately I made the mistake in the beginning to let my friends and colleagues in on my double life. I regret doing this now, because there is no longer a clear divide between the two lives.

I am forever thankful for the lessons I have learned and the people I have met since this journey began. There are many more chapters to be written and I hope you will continue to check in on our humble blog. While we can't guarantee we will write every day or even every week, we will try our best to write at least a few times a month if not more.

But, if you need a daily dose of Love Bites, check out our Facebook page and our Twitter account @ LoveBitesMF. We typically update on both daily.

We wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for continuing to include us in your lives.

No promise on what will happen after this.

With Love,
Kate

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Why Do Exes Come Back Around?

2011-11-07T15:48:00.002-05:00

It's been quite some time since my last entry in the blog, but recently we asked for some ideas. Some were interested in "Why do ex's come back around?” one I heard a while back "friends to lovers & back to friends (will it ever work)" and one I tried a few times "long distance relationships"

I may not have the answers you're looking for, but we all have a different ways of dealing with these issues. Remember, I’m a guy and that my way of thinking differs from most women’s thoughts on these experiences, but that's why I'm here. The major issues are due to the fact Women and Men have totally different thought processes. I, at times even stand alone from most of them as well. I am brutally honest, and will at times say things that most think, but are too chicken shit to say.

First of all, you may have stumbled upon this page by accident or heard about it by friends, but the one thing is that you're here, and something we've said, you related to. We're glad you're here and hopefully we can all figure out some answers you've been looking for. For all the new readers, I’m a 30 something bachelor, some say cute, who was engaged but things just didn’t seem to work out, and have been on the hunt for Mrs. Right for the last three years. I have been on hundreds of dates, some good, some bad, but have learned more than most of you will in a lifetime. It just seems the dating world, and people have changed so much. Everyone wants the "real deal" but expect it to be handed to them. I work my ass off to find Mrs. right. I change where I shop, the places I eat, and work the Internet like a madman! If you think, "good things come to those who wait", best of luck to you and your forever single life. No one is just going to knock on your door and say, "I know you've been waiting, and you've been good, so let me make your dreams come true". So many think guys suck! And say, " show me one who is different than all the rest".... Well, you're already tainted! You're going into it looking for a guy to prove you wrong... you're already judging us on your past relationships, and you hold a bit of resentment before it starts. Why the hell do guys have to prove anything to you????? Why don't you prove us YOU'RE DIFFERENT?? Truth: we don't really give a fuck!! If we like you, it doesn’t matter what happened in our past. Every relationship is different, and offers a little something new each time. Don’t let the scars of your past carry over. It’s already hard enough for us guys... We have to have a great job, a decent car, we can't live at home (like most of you do), and so much more. Sure some of us know these factors and put on an act (for a little while), but isn’t that what you wanted with all that pressure??? Come on!! Go into things with a clear head, and hope for the best. If nothing comes out of it, you'll at least learn a little more about yourself. Don't set "rules”; this will limit the already tough job of finding your true happiness.

I have been dating for about 3 years now and have entered every relationship clear-minded and open to the thoughts "whatever happens happens". I don’t care what you drive, what clothes you wear, what job you have, or any of the factors that are "deal-breakers" for most superficial bitches. Opps, I said it.... suck it up buttercup! Am I a poor guy? Nope! But guess what? I can see those women a mile away, and I know exactly what it takes to score with you. I can read your every move, and constantly judging your body language, I can tell within the first 30 min if you're taking me back to your place, if this is relationship material, or just a waste of time. I’m rambling because I just laugh at so many with their "pity me" stories and it's really their own close-minded thoughts that keep them single! Well, back to the reader’s questions: "Why do ex's come back around?" There are plenty of factors why we do this. It’s as simple as this: Some come back because they realize leaving was a mistake. Others come back because they think it's easy to get back with some one old than to start fresh with some one new. Sure there are many other reasons/excuses but its a simple concept... We all like the comfort of the known. We know your issues, as do you know ours, we had a past, and think whatever separated us is not that big of a deal to leave you forever. Just make sure you hear them out on their reasoning, and question them upon it as well.

Now here goes a tricky one "can friends become lovers, then part as friends again"? This all depends on your mentality. Can you handle it? Everyone’s mindset is different, and for one, someone cares more than the other. 90% of the time it's the guy who wants to break this type of relationship off, and sad to say, he cares less. Sure there's always exceptions, but deep down, someone will be hurt and things rarely return to normalcy again. Eventually the two of you part, and as time goes on, eventually stop talking all together.

Here's one I wrote about in the past: Long distance relationships, can they work? Of coarse then can for some, but the truth of the matter is that we all want our loved ones close to us. I would say that these types of relationships last longer when you meet someone, and they need to transfer for work, or another situation. The relationships that start from long distance are tougher, and eventually someone needs to move closer to maintain a relationship. With both of these, TRUST & COMMUNICATION is the key! So many solders have amazing women waiting for them. So sure, it could work, but just know what you can handle before entering.

So to break it down.... You need to be free of the past before entering the future. Give everyone a chance, and your results will be different. Try new things, and get new results. Break down your walls, and build bridges, know your self worth! Never lower your standards for anyone. When you say you are going to break the chains that bind you and happiness will find you, remember the words of Thoreau "Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.
The Man

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Yankee Rebound

2011-10-24T22:42:00.002-04:00

Even after all the pain and trauma sometimes we find ourselves unknowingly thinking about people who once were a part of our lives. It doesn't mean we want to relive that period. Clearly it wasn't a lasting one, but sometimes we need a happier ending in order to make peace with the past. Nothing more, nothing less or at least that is what we tell ourselves.

For some it takes longer to finally realize "it's over" or that it never was something of meaning. Sometimes we push ourselves over the edge and into a mentally crazy and exhausting phrase because we don't know what else to do. Eventually pushing away loved ones because it's easier to watch someone destroy themselves from a distance.

And then one day many months later you wake up and the flowers smell again, the air is no longer toxic, the future while blurry seems promising, but your love is gone. He couldn't handle the pain anymore. He has moved on and at that moment when he says "I'm seeing someone new" reality hits you like a brick wall.

So, what is a girl to do? You could sit at home watching depressing TV, gain weigh, sleep all day, but it won't change the end result. Instead following in the steps of Carrie Bradshaw you go big and bold and ask out a Yankee. Which at least is a happy temporary distraction.

Kate

Not Friends with an Ex

2011-10-16T20:21:00.000-04:00

So, the big one. I promised I would write about the doozy of an ex-boyfriend who I am no longer in contact with.

And then he went and called me. Sonofabitch!

About two months ago, I was watching TV with my roommate, and seriously close to going to bed. It was almost 11 p.m., and I was falling asleep on the sofa, which is never a good thing. Then the phone rang. I recognized the area code as Chicago (where he used to live), and thought to myself, what the hell…maybe it’s a telemarketer. So, I answered, mostly out of curiosity, and there was no one on the other line. I hung up.

One minute passes, and the phone rings again. Same number. I answer it. Again. This time a voice: “Hello, I am looking for MY NAME.”

I responded, “Rob? It’s me.” Of course, at this point, the roommate is interested, and so I am trying to motion and mouth who it is (she knows the whole story—which, by the way, is long and arduous to tell, if you want to know the truth). I take the call into the other room. As soon as I shut the door, I say, “Why are you calling me?” I have no fear and nothing to lose at this point, right?

And then, what I feared the most, happened: he tried to explain. Everything. And he tried to apologize. Now, I have not spoken to Rob in almost two years. But, in the past, our conversations tended to be on the near side of three plus hours. As soon as the first few sentences came out of his mouth, I feared for my phone bill. Why the hell did I answer! Damn you, Queen of Mean!!

Then, like it was 1945, he dropped The Bomb. He was getting married.

Now, this has happened to me before—shocking, right? Not really. If you knew the assholes I’ve dated…

Anyway, and I really couldn’t help myself, the first thing out of my mouth was, “Why!?” Then I corrected myself, “Why are YOU getting married?”

And do you EVEN know what he said? I mean, talk about the most perfectly delivered line of my life: “Because I found someone who will put up with me.” That’s EXACTLY what he said. Holy schnikey! Are you kidding me? Not only was that opening windows of opportunity for me, but the front door, garage door, and whole goddam roof!

I responded, “You’re serious? She puts up with you?”

This is not happening. Ohmygod, you cannot make this stuff up!

And then, Hiroshima again: “You are always going to be the one who got away.”

OH, COME ON. I could not believe my ears. I started to try and get out of the impending marathon conversation, and thought I had heard it all, but then, and I kid you not, he said, “Can we talk again, you know, be friends?”

Now, mind you, if I had absolutely no class, tact, or heart, I would have hung up right then, or just laughed in his face. So I foolishly said, “I will let you know,” leading him to think that I might, when in fact, I do not ever wish to speak to him again. And on top of that, I hope there is no wedding. I hope by that divine intervention, or stroke of luck, that someone tells that girl what she’s in for.

Rob cheated on me, on the girl before me, before her, and so on. He’ll never not cheat. He’s also a drunkard. And insanely cocky. And honestly, not even that attractive. Certainly, I am out of his league. And part of me wishes I had thought more of myself when I was with him, without him, and back with him. But I do now, and that’s ultimately what's important.

Queen of Mean

Dreamweaver

2011-10-13T02:07:00.000-04:00

A memory is a way of holding onto things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose. It's also how we learn, a way to show people we care and have listened. It's the story of how we got to where we are, what we have overcome to reach the being we have become. Memory gives us the capacity for compassion and empathy, it enables us to connect with people at different stages of their journey, and help just by understanding. But, some memories make it hard to keep moving forward without looking back.

When we dream of old friends or acquaintances it usually indicates that there is something in your past that keeps coming up and interfering in your life somehow. The old maybe familiar, but it isn't always the correct decision. Sometimes we just need a push in the right direction to remind us just how precious life is and how petty our errors were.

Life is full of vanishing acts and dreams that later become nightmares. The old are eventually replaced with the new. Sometimes we let go of our dreams and settle for less than extraordinary. But, if we keep believing that the dream does exist we have a chance of waking up from the nightmare.

Kate

Light at the end of the tunnel

2011-10-07T01:16:00.002-04:00

No one should be trusted with your heart or any other part of you for that matter. We are all unique that's what makes the world so fascinating. Everyone has their beliefs, their traditions, their crazy rules about how relationships should be. Sometimes we make a wrong turn and while in the moment it may feel right that little voice knows it's never going to last. Mistakes are a part of living, no one is perfect.

Some people will remain in our hearts long after the door shut. It doesn't necessarily mean you still love them or even like them, but sometimes letting go takes a lifetime to forget.

When we are picky with whom we choose to call friends it tends to hurt more when one leaves your side. But, whether you agree or not doesn't stop time or let you go back and repair the damage.

We grow as we age, but it doesn't mean we all mature or refine our tastes like a fine wine. For some, the best years have long past, but we still live off the memories of days gone by. For others, the best is yet to come.

You may never get an answer and even if you do it probably isn't what you wanted to hear. Words are very powerful weapons when misused. Make sure you are picking a fight with the right person.

Kate

Share The Love Clothing

2011-10-06T20:38:00.000-04:00

In August I went to Brooklyn for the Share the Love clothing photo shoot. I hired a couple local models; Brissena and Dean, an amazing photographer who I grew up with, Tommy Agriodimas, www.agriodimas.com, a makeup artist and two amateur models/assistants. Alex, the fresh faced twenty something musician and my cousin Yvette, who I haven't seen in thirteen years.

I didn't have a clue what to expect or what to do, but somehow I pulled off my first fashion shoot which I guess officially makes me a self taught fashion designer. By the end of the day I was exhausted and super pleased with all the awesome photos Tommy shot.

Like our writing, Share the Love clothing is an extension of our inner wild child -- bold, edgy, mysterious and, perhaps for some, offensive. But you only live once, so be bold, be brave, be unique, be you. We hope you will fall in love with our newest venture, too and thanks for being so patient.

www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the clothing website. It's still a work in progress. We are hoping to have the online clothing store up and running in the next couple weeks. In the meantime, sign up for our monthly newsletter and preview some of the shirts.

No promise on what will happen after this.

Peace out love.

Kate

Lost Mojo

2011-09-22T21:36:00.000-04:00

Taking the advice of The Man I recently revised my online dating profile to be more witty and honest with a dash of jackass. Seeing how it worked wonders when he told women he was "not looking for a relationship and might not return messages often."

At first it seemed to be working. More men were starting conversations, but the crop of eligible bachelors online is very depressing and slim picking.

Potential matches included a 38 yr. old guy who made a point of mentioning he owned a condo in his profile and that for fun on the weekend he was renovating the bathroom which made him feel so grown up. (This wasn't a joke.)
Actually you sound boring and too "grown up" for me.

The Catholic school teacher who volunteered on the weekends at the local Church.
What part of I am not religious did you not get?

The fifty-two year old who the hell knows.
Seriously? You need to get your eyes checks, because clearly you must have read my "seeking men 30-38 yrs. old" as something very different.

When I did a reverse search, where you can see who is looking for someone like you. It showed me men primarily in Atlanta, Arkansas and Colorado. All of whom look like they may have been on Dateline's To Catch a Predator.

I thought honesty was the best policy, but I'm starting to think that when it comes to online dating it makes men afraid to start a conversation.

Here is my rather hilarious attitude filled profile:

Trying to pitch myself on a dating site is not exactly easy or something I ever imagined doing, but the bar scene isn't exactly what it use to be. Walking around in high heels is fun a couple nights a week, but not every night. If I can lounge around at home and still possibly meet a great guy I figured why not give this whole online dating thing a spin.

I'm an adventurous gal with a dry sense of humor. I'm brutally honest about what I want which can be misread. If you are a banker, lawyer or any other office type 9-5 job we probably won't have a good chemistry in person. I don't want to waste your time either.

I'm NOT looking to be engaged or married any time in the near future or possibly ever. I've been down that road already and it didn't end well. I would like to have kids one day, but again not in the near future (at least 3 years from now). So, if you are in a rush to put a ring on it or are looking for a housewife I'm not your cup of tea.

I'm not necessarily looking for anything more than a fun guy to spend time with. I don't have a lot of free time, but I will make time for the right guy.

What I'm looking for in a guy is someone who is adventurous, funny, a risk taker, ambitious and confident. I also like a man who has a creative side and has a great sense of humor. When we’re not working, I want to be able to laugh hard and laugh often.

Things to know about me and Match:

1) If you favorite me on here before we have even communicated I will not respond. It's odd and is a turn off.

2) Please don't just wink - either wink and send a short message or just send a message. If you are interested say so. Don't fear rejection.

3) I am not your Sweetie, Honey or any other baby name and I never will be.

3) There is a reason why we both took the time to answer basic questions about ourselves. It can quickly eliminate our matches so neither party is wasting their time. Therefore,
If your Sundays revolve around what time Church is please don't bother contacting me.
If you absolutely do not want kids ever, again do not contact me.
If you are old enough to be my father, do not contact me.

If you are still reading, hit me up. No harm in a friendly chit chat via a computer screen. I won't bite. I promise. :)

Kate

Stupid Crazy Love

2011-09-19T21:37:00.000-04:00

You lift another spoonful of food into your mouth as she drones on about her day...something about wearing the wrong slacks to the meeting - black instead of gray. You stare down at your plate and push some overcooked carrots to the edge. You look up at her, a faint moustache visible from the overhead lighting.

Yeah, she's okay - You've been dating a couple of months, but things have plateaued - Is this really it? You've both settled into the comfort zone - Netflix and Chinese food.
Slowly looking up, across the restaurant, you can't help but notice the two hot blondes in spandex, tight shorts and taught ponytails. They're on their third drink and boy are they having fun...
You return to your girl, hoping the check would come so you could sulk out of the joint, back to the comfort and familiarity of your apartment.

How'd you end up with Sarah, anyhow? An introduction from your cousin...she looked so good that day at the BBQ... Or did she? A few extra pounds here and there, and a smile that showed too much tooth - but hey, she was sweet.
"I never dated a really hot girl," you think.
You signal to the waiter - "Check, please." You look back at Sarah and she's still talking, but you've lost her.... Oh, yeah... what happened at work. Something about a broken copier...
You look up the hotties and your stomach sinks deeper when see a third smoking hot girl - this one brunette - approach their table and pull out a chair. And wait...what's this...? A guy, just like you, is arm-in-arm with her? Everyone's laughing; the two blondes get up and go around the table to hug the guy. Clearly, he's the man.

You check him out - what's he got that you don't? Same height, same clothes. He even looks kind of like you... What gives? Why does this guy get the hotties and you don't?
Isn't it time you stepped up to the plate and learned how to get what you really want?
Aren't you sick of watching all the actions from the sidelines, settling for less than you deserve?

You can be that guy! But in order to make this happen, you need to take action now. It works, all you have to do is take the next step...you need to know a few VERY important things. After talking to numerous women I discovered a few things they can all agree on. After all the money, looks, success, the one thing they can all agree on is that: THEY WANT A CONFIDENT MAN!! Not they cocky type, just one who can pull it all together. You don't need to be the best dressed, the most paid, the most successful, or the most hung. You just need to know YOU are important enough, and that inside you have other options if she doesn’t work out. Now...you may wonder, "How is this possible?" Well. (Women are going to hate this) but this is how you build a relationship/one night stand/marriage material, or whatever you're really looking for:

Geez, I really shouldn't tell you this, but it works for women as well... Next time you go out, (or you may already have one), find someone who really likes you, for you. Smooth talk them a little, and build a friendly relationship. Sometimes things happen, and you may even like them, after giving them a chance. We all have a friend that we know would do it, if we gave them the chance. It doesn’t matter if they're your "type" at all. What you're doing is: Building confidence. You can finally do whatever with someone, whenever you want! Let them know upfront that you just want to have "fun". Some will go along with it (especially most men), while some women will not, but we all have at least one that would rather have "fun" than nothing at all. Now...I'm not saying they need to be a "fuck buddy", just someone to hang with so you're not lonely and looking desperate when looking for Ms. Right.

During this time, you can use them to tell you what you're doing right, or wrong. Both of you are in fact, helping each other finding "the one". The next steps are to improve on these things in order to be prepared for the real deal. (Women often rate us upon these things)

a) Conversation skills
b) Attractiveness
c) Humor
d) Relationship potential

After you know you have "options", there aren’t the added pressures to impress. You may usually try everything to get that one, but sometimes you push them away with all the bullshit you practice. With confidence alone, you wont need the corny pick-up lines, the best clothes, the nicest cars, or be the richest guy.... You can finally be yourself, and get what you deserve. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
The Man

Juggler

2011-09-12T22:03:00.003-04:00

It sure has been a while since my last blog. I just lost motivation in writing about myself and putting my life out there to be judged, but perhaps with the new addition of "Queen of mean", (whom I just love after I read her response to an idiot) things will get a lil' spicy again. I first must say welcome to the inner circle of Love Bites, and let's bring on some stories to help get this page rolling again.

Where have I been? what have I been up to? Ha! well....many of you know I'm the type to take extreme risks for happiness.I have always lived with the motto "live live to the fullest, with nothing left unanswered". Here goes a few more adventures to add to them. As many of you know, I am on a few dating sites(as some of you have tried as well), and I work it like a mad-man! I think some days I put more hours into that, than my real job. Do I have an addiction with it? Perhaps, but like I always said before "I tend to get what I want". Some could call me a player, but others realize the difficulties of finding what they want, don't want, and what they could be happy with. Generally my happiness is momentary and then I find the flaws that I have had in the past, I know I don't want that again. So let me bring on some stories.

Months ago I met someone online, and we were chatting for a while. We then took the next step and exchanged numbers. We met and hit it off right away. (This almost always happens with me, if I find her attractive). I'm not cocky, I am just extremely lucky I guess. Trust me, if I knew how I did it, I would bottle it, and sell it on E-bay all day long. I really have no idea what it is about me that brings this attraction to some women, but I ain't complaining.

So we "dated" for a bit (mostly drunken nights) and not too much otherwise. It wasn't a "keeper" type, but it filled my time perfectly, and was just what I needed til the right one came along. We never stated we were "dating" and pretty much just did one night a week. There were no "I want more, I love you, can we bring to another level" we had an "unspoken understanding". Now with this said, I liked her! She never asked for more, or pushed the relationship. She allowed it to remain how it was. This is a big thing for me.

Usually women push and push for more, and I tend to walk, then run away. Please, look for these signs/signals if you want a long-lasting relationship. Just let things happen it their natural order. No need to rush or push anything. I believe if more women would act less emotional, they would have less problems with relationships lasting only a few weeks. Too many times Ive entered into a relationship, and within weeks, sometimes days, I get the "stalker side" (the one who calls and calls wondering where you are), or the "jealous one" who constantly thinks you're up to no good. Caring about what someone is doing is one thing, but constant questioning pushes most of us away. Oops, I'm rambling... ok so back to her.

Things were great (for me), she was only in town a few weekends a month, and didn't really want too much more than what she was getting. She had an up-coming business event that was going to keep her out of town for a month, or so...so my thinking was...I kinda want someone to have fun with while she was gone. I headed back to my trusty sites, and began chatting. Within a day or two, I found someone to fill her void. A beautiful 20-something model whom was recently seperated. She lived about 9hrs away so driving wasn't an option to meet. Chats became more and more, as the trust levels were built. One night, as I was about to fall asleap, she texted to say "I can't wait any longer to meet you, I booked a ticket to see you". WHOA!!! that was pretty cool! I didn't even have to come outta pocket. LOL Plans were set, and the ball was rolling. The "other" was headed out of town, and this one was arriving a few days later. I couldnt have asked for more... or so I thought! Here's where my risk-taking gets crazy....
The Man

Juggling Act

2011-09-12T22:01:00.001-04:00

The model arrives in town, we meet and a connection was made. I was committed to having a somewhat stranger live with me, for who knows how long. I never asked about how long she would stay. I assumed it was just for the weekend, or a week...but to my suprise she didn't leave for a month!!! The first couple days were great! Then I started freaking out! I have a stranger living in my house! I had no idea she would stay that long. Well, I had to suck it up, and make the best of it. The same time, the "other" texts/calls me every once and a while. The hiding/avoiding getting caught was crazy! But I pulled it off!....or so I thought.

Here's where it gets even better....... The "other" decides she is driving back, instead of flying. So guess what??? She buys me a ticket to drive back with her. Hahahhahaa!!! Holy Shit! How am I gonna pull this one off? I'm no pro at lying, but I did pretty well for a last minute thing. I was now a "Transporter" whom, on the weekends, drives cars for a dealer across the U.S. LMAO!!! I explained "I needed the extra money and do this on the weekends"

So here's the tricky part.....I fly to Chicago to drive the "other" back, while some stranger is at my house. I fly out and meet the "other". I needed to return ASAP but can't really let her know about this...so "my dad" is flying into town, I say. She buys it and we head back to Miami. I am fuckin nuts! I have someone I barely know at my house, and I'm driving across the US with another. I was somewhat amused at this. Crazy? Yea, I know!!

Well, I became a pro... calls were made at every rest stop to confirm everything was ok, and the "other" thinking my dad arrives the following day. 23 hours later, we arrive in Miami. Now I had thought of this prior to leaving: Park car at airport so she doesn't have to go to your house (I'm a fricken genius lol) Well, that was great, until...."come sleep with me tonight, it's been a while since I've seen you" comes out of her mouth. CRAP!!! Ok, but I need to leave early in the morning. Plan worked perfectly! or so I thought..... The week went by, and the "other" wanted to see me over the weekend. I told her I had plans with my father, but as I could see, she was on to me. She wanted to meet him, and even offered to swing by my house for a minute. Ummm..... Sorry but I'll try to see you next weekend. I had to keep them both happy (which was tough!) but I managed to do ok.

As the weeks passed, I pulled off the impossible and was suprised at the outcome. I had grown attached to how trusting both of them were. I actually felt like shit! It was exciting and all, but it wasn't me. I'm no player! I am always honest and I really began to grow feelings for both.

Now what would I do? I have one who lives close (super cool and a lot of fun) and the other (whom lives hours away, and is still legally married). My thought procees has been running wild, too many tough decisions to make....If I decide the far one, there will be no "dating process", she would have to move in (HUGE STEP), or continue doing what I've always done with the other... Well, the choice was made for me. The "other" (close one) decided I didn't have enough time for her and began dating. The young one is in the divorce process and must remain up north until everything settles, but do I want to take this type of step? Hmm.....(to be continued)
The Man

How To Be a Jackass and Win

2011-09-12T19:32:00.001-04:00

After writing my prior blog, I decided to ask around a little and try to come up with a few reasons some guys get the ones they want. Now I could be totally wrong, but some of this has worked for me. I was once where you are... thinking I was a nice, sensitive guy who had to sit around "wishing" and "wanting" women who had no interest in me (out of being a friend) because I was too shy, not good-looking enough, not rich enough etc.

But then, I quickly realized that I had it all wrong. Instead of thinking that I was a nice, sensitive guy that needed to be richer or better-looking to get women, I realized what I really needed was to be the guy that women really want. I came up with my "I dont give a crap if I get her or not attitude."

You see... this is why women often date "jerks" and guys who are emotionally unavailable and don't date us "nice guys" who would do anything for them. It's because, as my ultimate law for success with women goes... attraction isn't a choice. In other words, women do not sit down and make a list of the qualities that a particular guy has, then think it over for a few days, then decide whether or not to feel attraction.
Just doesn't happen.
Attraction is either there or it isn't, and it happens in an instant. Plus, to mess up a "nice" guy's thinking even more, it happens for all kinds of "illogical" reasons... reasons that even a woman who is feeling it can't usually describe.

So what's the answer here?

The answer here is realizing that... most likely... many of the "nice" things you're doing while you're around women you feel attracted to (and who consider you "just a friend") are actually ruining your chances with them.
You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that seem to be "inconsiderate" in order to give a woman what she really wants... which is act like a man who is in control of himself, the situation, and often her. You have to stop doing the nice, sensitive things that say "I'm a Wussy" -- because these are the very things that torpedo any chance you have of success with the women you really want.
Instead, start doing the things that really work with women...
Be calm and confident.
Act Cocky & Funny.
Bust on women and give them a hard time.
Lead the way, don't follow.
Now, of course, one of the problems that a lot of guys run into is "putting together" all these different personality traits is that don't seem to go together. Many of the things women say they want in a man seem to conflict with each other. Women say that they want guys who sensitive... but always go for the "bad boy".

What's a guy to do?

Well, here's what I did:

I gave up my old ways of thinking and learned what really works.
Not what sounds like it might work.
Not what should work in a "logical" world.
And not what is supposed to work according to all those touchy-feely self-help books (...and what your mommy taught you).
I avoided all the bad advice (that never got real results) and figure out what "works" and I started out with a huge disadvantage. And I'm not talking about a disadvantage of my plain looks. I'm talking about a disadvantage of all this bad advice. This bad "programming."

We all had this pre-determined "map" in our mind of how we thought we should behave around women... and it turned out to be the wrong map. A total game- killer. And the most frustrating part was that when I did the things that should work, they actually made women even less into me!

It was like the whole world wasn't working right... I would be so sweet, sensitive and nice, and then woman would not even want to talk to me.
I would call often and share my feelings with her, and she would still fall for the rude jerk who could care less about treating her well.
Well, I stuck with it anyway. I kept trying to figure out what works... even though the things I was doing weren't working. And the magic "breakthrough" came:
You can have the smoothest "pick up lines" in the world... do "nice" things for women all day long... but if you don't understand ATTRACTION, these things will backfire and wind up pushing women away from you.

That's why, even though "jerks" and "bad boys" don't treat women well, it doesn't mean that women don't feel attraction for them. In fact, women report feeling incredibly attracted to these kinds of men... so powerfully, in fact, that they can't control their feelings... Whether a women likes you or not as "more than a friend" is often decided right away. Stop living in the "friend zone" and make a change to get what you deserve. What do you have to lose?
The Man

To Follow or Not To Follow

2011-08-30T23:11:00.004-04:00

Yesterday's blog from the Queen of Mean got me thinking about my ex-files. I am still friends with my exes, with the exception of three. Of course none of them live in the same state and I haven't actually seen any in person since we broke up, but occasionally we chat on facebook. All of my exes (that I'm friends with) are now married with kids and when we broke up it was a mutual decision, mostly due to someone moving away for work.

The three I am not friends with are the ones that in hindsight were doomed relationships from the start. For starters there was MF who has become the mascot of all JSR douche bag exes. In the rulebook of manners and plain old common sense he managed to royally fuck up being friends and then some. The only good thing to come out of briefly being friends with him again is Love Bites. It just took someone to piss me off beyond what I ever thought was possible.

The second ex is someone I still have contact with, but not by choice these days. Thankfully we have come to a point now where we really just don't care about each other's personal lives. Which makes being civil possible for at least a few minutes.

The third ex I tried really hard to be friends with afterwards, but it was a one sided attempt to maintain a connection and friendship. Much like the short-lived relationship this too failed miserably.

One day we were the best of friends the next it was like we never knew each other. After a few months of space I was at a place where I didn't have any romantic feelings for him, but missed our witty banter. We were no longer friends on Facebook (my decision) and he had just started using Twitter so I became a follower of his. For me it was a harmless gesture meant to be like an olive branch. I don't know why it mattered so much, but I wanted him to 'follow' me back and the next day he did. Even though we hadn't spoken, I thought it was a step in the right direction.

If you follow Love Bites on Twitter (@LoveBitesMF) you know we tweet a lot and most of the time our tweets are silly. But, then again Twitter is a silly concept anyhow, so who cares.

For the first week I found myself basically cyber stalking his profile page. I don't know why or what exactly I was hoping to find. About a week later I noticed he had unfollowed my account without ever making contact. I had never tried to start a conversation, but now I was pissed off. Why even follow me in the first place? Why unfollow me? What did I do? (But, much like how we ended I never found out and honestly I don't care anymore. Our personalities are worlds apart which at first was part of the attraction, but eventually it just become frustrating and annoying.)

I let it pass. It was a stupid idea to begin with. I wondered if that was the point of his silent gesture of f____you. To see how I would react. Because in the past I probably would have made a big deal about the seemingly innocent action. Instead I just continued along trying to forget about his sorry ass. Another couple weeks pass and one day I get an auto notice saying he was following me again. WTF I thought. Still didn't make contact, but now I did make sure at least one tweet made by me each day was secretly about him.

After a few days of spending way to much time thinking about him and wanting to talk to him I realized just how ridiculous and crazed I was making myself over someone who should mean nothing and whom I shouldn't be friends with anyhow. So I unfollowed him, stopped looking at his profile page completely, erased his phone number, blocked his email address and even though we haven't spoken I am finally at peace with the messy breakup and happy for him and whatever the future holds.

Maybe one day we will speak again, until then sleep well my friend.

Night y'all. I need my beauty sleep for Sin City. 6-day countdown to 72 hours of epic greatness recorded for the masses. Which will require 10 pairs of heels, 8 dresses, lots of jewels and 1 BFF. Something’s in life are priceless.

Kate

Friends with the Ex?

2011-08-29T17:15:00.000-04:00

I realize I am not the first person to ask why we foolishly keep contact with our exes,but recently, something sparked my interest. My roommate told me a story about how she recently regretted keeping up a “friendship” with a guy she dated earlier this year. She went back and forth for a while about it, but ultimately figured out that it wasn’t worth her time—or emotion—to continue the relationship.

Personally, I have never been a fan of being “friends” with an ex-boyfriend. Let’s face it, how is it even possible? You meet, you date, you’re intimate, you fight, you break up (or for whatever reason—move, timing, etc.),and then you become friends? I don’t get it. As a result, I do not talk to, associate with, or keep the phone numbers of any of the men I’ve dated.

Until recently.

And surprise (!) it was a mistake. The long and short of it is this: we dated last summer for about two months. We had great chemistry, great sex, a lot in common,even shared some friends. Everyone thought we were so good together. So did I.

Well, he got a job offer in a city about 100 miles away, and accepted it. Obviously, we didn’t talk about it, because we were in the early stages of our relationship. I was sad, and we decided to try and make it work.

It didn’t. Are you shocked? He said he felt “pressure” to come visit me. Pressure? Didn’t he WANT to see me? I dumped him, and washed my hands of the situation.

Later, I found out that before he left, he had been talking to another girl who lived in the area, and whaddya know, about a month later, he updated his Facebook status to “In a relationship” with said girl. He was definitely willing to make the effort to come see her.

I got pissed, emailed him to say that he was a liar, a cheat, and a sleaze, and that I never, EVER wanted to talk to him again. Erase my phone number! Now. I unfriended him on FB, and again, washed my hands of it. This was about six months ago.

Then I started getting random texts from his number. I know it was him because of the area code, and the nature of the messages. I didn’t respond. Until the third one. At that point, I was “over” the whole situation, and I didn’t see the harm in communicating with him via text message. Well, guess what that led to? Yup, we ended up seeing each other about a month ago, and well, you know…

Was it worth it? In the moment, yes. Right now, not so much. And here’s why.
After I saw him, I started thinking about him. More than I wanted to. And we kept the texts up, and as a girl, being the way we are, I thought I kind of liked him again.

NO! I had to tell myself, no! It was just one night, it wasn’t a rekindling, it wasn’t a sign, or fate, or any of that shit. Why did I let myself slip? Why do girls do thisto themselves? And it really is us, ladies. WE do this. Men will go along with it because it’s NOT emotional for them. It’s just sex. And that’s where we are like night and day. And it’s also why exes should not be friends. It’s like trying to get democrats and republicans to agree on the debt crisis. (Hint, it’ll never happen.)

He is officially the second to last ex I have cut off contact with—for the second time now—and it’s worth my sanity, my sense of self, and let’s face it, it’s just the smartthing to do. Women supposedly have the upper hand in relationships—let’s prove that theory!

There is one more ex I still need to deal with, and he brought it on. Don’t worry, I will write it all down. ‘Til we meet again, reader. I’m not saying hold your breath,but it’s a doozy.
Queen of Mean

Queen of Mean

2011-08-22T21:09:00.000-04:00

I must be the queen of random asshole-guy emails! This is hilarious. I wish I had met that guy so I could have slugged him in the eye! I have many a story to tell--including insight, wisdom, whatever you want to call it--and am happy to share. Glad you laughed! (read the blog titled Disclosure from July 2011)

I'm just a normal, intelligent, attractive, sports-loving, girl-next-door type, who's been burned more than I care to remember. I've been cheated on, lied to, left for no good reason at all, and called twice in the last few years by ex-boyfriends who are getting married. And they called to tell me that. I've dabbled in some online dating, which is where, by freak chance, I came to know one of the Love Bites writers. I'm not out for blood, but you know what they say, "what goes around, comes around."

Recently, I had a moment of weakness and rejoined a dating website. That lasted a week. I’ll tell you why.

I was pretty blunt about what I was looking for on my profile. I don’t want to date a slacker, a surfer, or a Starbucks barista. Is that really asking too much? Well, perhaps my honesty was my strongest and weakest point. I received over 800 “views” in that week, and approximately three emails I felt even warranted a response.

One gentleman, who seemed decent looking, educated, and employed, contacted me, so I emailed back.

He then asked to call me, because he preferred to talk than email. I was ok with that (note: I am still in my optimistic state of dating website renewal). We talked on Sunday afternoon, and agreed to meet on Thursday of that week. I had proposed Tuesday so that I could meet him and decide quickly if he was worth my time, but he shot that down. Thursday it was.

On Tuesday—my originally proposed meet date—he sent me a text in the afternoon. It was a picture. Of himself. Flying his Cessna. To Catalina.

Are you kidding me?

Not only was I not impressed, but what the hell? I talked to the guy once, and all of a sudden, he is updating me on every move he makes? Text: lunch on Catalina! Text: Catalina as I left it (picture, again). Um, excuse me, but I don’t even know you. And this was the day you couldn’t meet, because you had a date with YOURSELF?

Did I mention he told me he had been on that dating website for two-and-a-half years?!

I responded, politely, “fun day!”

The texts kept coming over the course of the evening and into Wednesday. I waited until the very last minute on Thursday to cancel our date. Especially considering I had gotten a text every morning that said, “Good morning, beautiful. Happy [fill in day].” Really? What do I even say to that? Oh wait, “I’VE NEVER MET YOU SO STOP TEXTING ME.”

The best one was (with an accompanying picture of himself, of course), “drinking coffee by the coast, hard life! LOL.” Oh, come on!

Needless to say, he kept on with the texts. I actually did have plans the next couple nights, so I legitimately couldn’t meet up with him, but at this point, I had already decided I didn’t want to meet him. The last text came in about 10 days after we never met, and I just deleted it.

Am I a bitch? No, but he certainly didn’t go about “pursuing” me in the right way. So men, don’t go crazy with the texts…especially if we’ve never met. If you want to see me, call me, ask nicely, and leave it at that. This isn’t a basketball game. Your self-righteous texts aren’t worth two points. They’re not even worth one.
Cheers!
Queen of Mean

Cultural Differences

2011-08-18T22:45:00.006-04:00

Whether we would like to admit it or not, we are all a product of the environment we grew up in. Our political view, religious belief and marital dreams are typically an example of our upbringing.
Like my parents I am a democrat. I am half Jewish, half Catholic. The last time I was in a temple was my Bat Mitzvah. I couldn't tell you when any religious holiday is or what it stands for, except Hanukkah and Christmas (selfishly it's all about the gifts). I have been in a church three times in my life for a total of one hour.
I played with G.I. Joe and Transformer toys when I was a child. I never had a Barbie doll, but I liked Rainbow Brite.
I've had the same last name for the last twenty-nine years and I don't intend to change it if I'm married. I have no desire to be a soccer mom or Stepford wife. Maybe one day if the timing is right I will get married, but it's not a priority and assuming there is a nanny involved I would like to have children one day.

The reason I bring up family and traditions is because I recently met a seemingly wonderful man. He was kind, affectionate, caring, generous, close to his family, was self employed, owned property, cars and was supposedly debt free.
He was born and raised in Europe and only moved to America six years ago. I have never dated a foreigner and was naive to the cultural differences and traditional beliefs. Which after spending more time with him became major turn offs. In addition to his serious case of OCD, belief that no woman can make his coffee the correct way, use of a handicap parking permit for no reason other than laziness, liked to gamble a lot and always started unnecessary arguments with wait staff.
Normally all these personality differences would have been the end all, but what actually turned me off the most was his family beliefs and traditional view towards marriage and kids.
Marriage was a mandatory for him. Ideally in the next year. Kids were an absolute. The husband is the head of the household and makes all the final decisions. While the wife stays at home with the kids and cleans and basically has to ask permission to drive the family car and is given a weekly salary which I have a feeling does not allow for Jimmy Choos.
There was also a long list of things I adored about him. But, the more I thought about it and the life I would be signing up for I realized it wasn't a life I ever wanted and why I even allowed myself to imagine it is a question for my therapist. So in the end it turns out I wasn't questioning the meaning of his 'maybe' response, but rather my own. Which ultimately turned into a 'no.'
Kate

Yes, No, Maybe and Everything In Between

2011-08-16T23:08:00.000-04:00

To judge someone from just the exterior and a few hours together over dinner or even just a couple dates isn't always the smartest choice either. At least that is what I would like to think.
I'm big into second chances these days. Sometimes people really are just having a bad day or in some cases have had a few too many drinks and they aren't the happiest of drunks.
I also believe that there is a reason for every obstacle we come across. It was during one of my recent conquests that I stumbled upon a detour. The younger version of me would have continued down the new road without thinking twice, but the older and seemingly less wiser version while intrigued with the possibility of being the exception was far more cautious and for good reason it would seem.
Does 'maybe' ever mean 'yes'?
Kate

Everything Ain't What It Seems

2011-08-15T20:06:00.000-04:00

You will come to realize nothing lasts forever. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. Friends will disappear when you need them the most. Strangers will become acquaintances and if you allow people into your life you might be happily surprised when they help mend a broken heart.
Jump out of a plane. Fly across the country on a whim. Let the world gently guide you. But, remember this doesn't allow the words of those around you to change your future.
You will fall down more often than not. You will love and be loved. You will be disappointed at times and it's more likely that you will fail miserably than reach the top.
Be open to change. Be open to the unknown. Don't follow your heart if it only gets you buried alive. Follow your dream even if everyone bets against you. One day you will wake up and be laughing.
Kate

Exceptions

2011-08-06T19:07:00.002-04:00

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou

Is life all a matter of timing? and if you meet someone and have a connection how far would you travel for the possibility of love?

Losing it all is the easy part. Knowing when to walk away is the hard part. If we are willing to gamble away our hearts on a whim why do we so carelessly throw away what might be because of a sour first impression?
Are we too quick to judge someone based just from a brief conversation? Yet, to embarassed to admit our shame because our ego and pride are too big.

It's funny what you can learn about a person when you cross the line between strange and stranger. Some people come into our lives to push us to the next level. Use their knowledge to your advantage and absorb all you can. Their words will stay with you long after they are gone. We guard our hearts and make up seemingly ridiculous dating rules thinking that a glass heart is better than a shattered one.

As we close one chapter and start a new one we are reminded that the past no matter how deep we pack it away will never be forgotten. That shadows of our former reflection are mimicked in our new collection. That just when we think the ghosts have settled in six feet under, Freddy returns in a new body. The only difference is now we laugh instead of fear.
Kate

Two of a Kind

2011-08-02T22:58:00.001-04:00

Last week I posted an email that was sent to me second hand by a guy I had started chatting with on an online dating site. Prior to receiving the message from the roommate I was thinking this guy seemed like a great catch. (If I've lost you - read the blog titled "Disclosure") Successful, funny, good looking and adventurous. Basically everything I am looking for if I was in the market for a relationship. (Which I still am) Of course I think this about 3 out of 5 guys every day online.
But, after reading the email it wasn't what the roommate wrote that shocked me so much, but rather what the guy wrote. There were a few lines that made me think there might be truth and reason for the date to be pissed off. But, what really puzzled me was why I had been the chosen recipient of the hilarious rant.
There was mention to a fancy sports car and a "super cool" home. Seemed more like the roommate and/or date were jealous, but then again maybe that was the point of him showing off his assets. A Honda would have worked just as well for transportation and probably would have saved gas money. But, I highly doubt an Accord would have the same "wow" factor of a Maserati or the chick magnet feature. So to say that you bought it just for the quality and craftsmanship is a lie.
Which got me thinking about material possessions and why as a society we are so money obsessed. Why are women willing to max out their credit cards to own the latest designer "it" bag or be a walking billboard for a brand? Is this any different that a man buying a flashy car or a big house?
First impressions will get you in the door. But, what happens when someone calls your bluff?
Kate

The Glass House

2011-08-02T00:14:00.001-04:00

It's easy to summarize a person with a blink and 99% of the time your first impressions are correct. You can tell a lot about a person just by the way they dress, what type of car they drive, where they live, what they do for a living. But, if you judge a book by it's cover you might miss out on a fabulous journey.
If you have nothing to lose, you have everything to gain. If you expect the unexpected and over think every word on the back cover you will miss out on the enjoyment of the unknown. Maybe the people who appear to have it all are the ones falling apart inside. Maybe the price of a ticket really is worth the price of happiness, when you live in a glass house.
Kate

Dating Blows

2011-07-30T23:04:00.000-04:00

I HATE DATING!! Clearly I wasn't wired like most people. Especially those on dating sites. I seriously don't get texting. It's the most retarded invention when your conversations are "Hi. How are you?" "What are you doing?" "Good morning" "Good night" I don't get the fun in this. Send my a freakin email or better yet pick up the damn phone you are texting me from and dial the phone on the screen and have a real conversation with words that are more than four letters.
I didn't sign up to play wheel of fortune. I shouldn't be playing a guessing game trying to figure out what you are saying in chicken scratch.
Dating sounds about as fun as going to the dentist's and yet I'm going on a long weekend date with a nameless man because I think it might be fun. Why is it that the good guys who you know will treat you like a princess and never break your heart are so god damn BORING? and the mysterious JSR's so appealing as a rebellious saint?
Kate

Life Well Lived

2011-07-23T19:06:00.000-04:00

From the beginning of the blog, we have all shared stories of lust, love, newfound relationships, and lost loves. Today I have written a little something different to allow people to understand my thought process a little better. I have said over and over how I almost always get what I want. It isn't anything about being cocky or arrogant; on the other hand, I do whatever it takes to achieve my happiness. I take risks most wouldn't even think about, but second-guessing is not in my nature. I have lived an eventful life and done many things some could only dream about. I have been asked, "What would you do, if you could do anything?" I pondered that question for a while and honestly...I don't have too much I would want to do that I haven’t done already. Without having it all and loosing it, you wouldn't respect what you once had. Many have questioned my answers to these types of questions, but after reading this, you can see for yourself why I made the recent decisions I have made. Last week I filed a "do not resuscitate" or "DNR" (a legal order written either in the hospital or on a legal form to respect the wishes of a patient to not undergo CPR or advanced cardiac life support if their heart were to stop or they were to stop breathing. This request is usually made by the patient or health care power of attorney and allows the medical teams taking care of them to respect their wishes).

In order for you to understand my decision, I have written a few reasons as to "why”:

I have lived in over 7 different countries including Africa, Philippines, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Germany, Hawaii and a few others I don't really remember. I have been on a REAL safari, been chased by the most venomous snakes in the world (black/green momba), actually seen "monkey in a high chair" (Google this), had a few local monkeys as friends, eaten with a few presidents (U.S and others), killed a king cobra, as well as drank his blood/venom mixture (a ritual performed after the snake loses to the mongoose in the black market. Known to give supernatural powers to anyone, for life). Seen people hung and killed in the streets (during a coup), met real tribe members, had black magic, voodoo, and Santeria curses put upon me, ridden a elephant, camel, stallion, emu, donkey, turtle and a few big girls I'd rather not talk about Hahaha j/k. I have caught and eaten my own food from all around the world, been in numerous natural disasters (hurricanes, typhoons, monsoons, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and sand storms) and even a few bombing attacks and shootings. I have learned over 4 languages (while living there, but forgot now). I have seen that money does grow on trees (depending what type you grow and sell), broken numerous bones (told I would never walk the same again), won over 25 gold, silver, and bronze medals, was in the Olympics and took home Gold and bronze for the U.S, had a few hole-in-one's, rolled a few perfect strikes, ridden or driven about everything known to man, and have owned about 25% of them. Had over a million dollars of assets at the age of 25, lost $250,000 in one day, and made $150,000 in a day as well. Money is SHIT!! It comes and goes...Some "try" to impress me with it, but once you've had it, it doesn’t impress me much. In no way am I trying to brag, I am just trying to point out the reasons for my recent decisions. This list could go on for months, and my stories are plentiful. I have been in a commercial, on live TV, met many famous people, tried some drugs, sold some drugs, grew some pot, got straight A's in school, got some F's as well, got arrested, been to jail, passed the test to become a cop (but didn't want to because it wasn't me), only had one job since high school, been successful and well as not, owned many pets, done 90% of dares put upon me, out ran a cop in a corvette (as well as a mustang), been surfing, white water rafting, cliff diving, bungee jumping, rock climbing, sky diving, flew a plane, raced numerous boats, been 124 mph on the water, been 170 mph on the road, swam with sharks( wrestled a few as well), fell 100 ft from a tree and didn't break a bone (branches broke my fall), seen a live birth, saw someone die, been paid for sex, paid for sex, had threesomes (not as good as they sound), dated sisters, as well as twins, flew to a different state for lunch, been to another country on a boat, been hit by lightening on a plane, lost an engine on a plane as well. Met the astronauts who died when the space shuttle exploded (on my flight a few days before), saw OJ Simpson with a glove on and it fit (cooking some BBQ at his house), had a private tour of the White House, been chased by a bear, seen beetles a foot long, and stung my numerous insects. Swam with wild dolphins and manatees, been in love, lost loved ones.
I have done so much and if things ended for me tomorrow, I can really say I lived a satisfied life. Many have questioned me recently, wondering why I have been a little down, but if you stood in my shoes, you would know I am complete! I don't need, or want too much more than what I have done in my past. So when you say it is impossible for me to have checked off everything on my "bucket list" already, you are correct! But not sure if the white picket fence, the kids, and the mini-van are what I need. If you still don't understand my decisions or choices, go ahead and ask me more...I’m sure either I’ve done it, or I'm not interested.
Its not that I want something to happen to me, it's just that I am 90% complete and not too much that I haven’t done. Some may never understand, but others may. It all depends on your thoughts on success and fulfillment.
The Man

Dummies Guide To Online Dating

2011-07-21T21:12:00.000-04:00

If you are a single woman over the age of thirty most people feel sorry for you and when you go to social functions your love life or lack there of suddenly seems to be everybody's business. Yet if you are a single guy over the age of thirty people automatically assume that something is wrong with you. Is this a far and accurate assumption? Probably not, but as I'm discovering looks can be very deceiving and if a person seems to good to be true on paper, immediately hit the escape button because it's not such a perfect life after all. Don't be fooled by the situation abs, killer resume or pretty woman fluff.
When browsing thru the online dating directory, remember that first impressions are especially important here and while you can easily narrow down your top ten list it is important to double check key comments listing what the matches are looking for. Follow your gut feeling, but try not to interrogate the poor guy.
For example, if a guy is 39 and is seeking women 18-29, this is a warning sign that the guy probably has some issues. If a guy is specifically seeking a woman who makes less money than them, again a warning sign. If a guy calls you sweetie or any other baby name after just one date or even after a few dates this is not cute, it's disturbing and for me a deal breaker. If a guy doesn't return your call or email within three days, not cool but not horrible. Unless someone died, if it's been a week and still no communication end it cold turkey. It doesn't take more than a second to say hi. Is that really asking for too much?
Kate

Disclosure

2011-07-20T21:36:00.004-04:00

I joined an online dating site a month ago with the goal of meeting "the one", but let's be honest that's asking for a lot more than a thirty-dollar membership could ever provide.
It's much easier to meet eligible single men in a cattle call of sorts. There are so many seemingly great guys on these sites that unless you meet in person within the first 48 hours you probably won't ever meet. Surprisingly the same fear of growing old alone that women in their mid to late thirties have is the same for many men as well. FYI guys it's not at all appealing. Suck it up; enjoy being single and not having to split your assets. Desperation is not sexy.
When it comes to disclosing this blog to new acquaintances I fear the backlash and misunderstand of my written words, especially the posts from the old days when we were posting multiple times a day and our blogs were more a bashing of all things men. Not exactly the best first date conversation. The other day I started talking to a guy who happens to be in the blogging world and has made a successful career in the online arena. I was intrigued by his businesses and as a blogger myself I thought it would be a good conversation icebreaker so I let him in on my sorta secret life here.
He didn't immediately run away, but the next morning I got this email.

Subject line: The most awesome display of female rage I may have ever seen

Kate,

Given your blog, I couldn't help but send this to you. Am I that out of touch with the times that I'm unaware that a simple "thank you" is no longer required?

Two days ago, I went on a first date with a girl who seemed nice enough. The odd thing was that when I paid for our dinner and drinks, she didn't bother to say thank you...and for me, that was kind of a put off. Don't know why (I should have know better), but I wrote her afterwards what I thought was a polite email saying why I wouldn't be calling again so that I didn't just leave her hanging and wondering why I never called on what she probably thought was a decent date (when leaving, she asked me to call her again).

The response was so utterly mind-blowing and hilarious, that I just couldn't help but share it. Rather ironic that teacher didn't bother to spell-check her own hate-male full of insults, huh?

This is what I sent to her to unleash the tidal way of rage you are about to read below (from her unemployed roommate, no less)

Hi Erica,

Thanks for coming out with me last night. I wanted to give you some feedback, instead of just leaving you wondering why I didn't call you again.

At the start of our date, you made it clear that you could easily afford your rent without your roommate. Then, when it came time to pay for our meal, not only did you not bother to OFFER to chip in, you didn't even say thank you after I dropped $50 on our date.

I wasn't going to bother writing to tell you this, but as this was a monstrous turn-off, I thought you might like to know so you don't do it to the next guy.

That aside you seemed like a very nice girl, so it’s a shame that you don't feel the need to contribute financially to your entertainment; especially on the very first date.

Ben

PS. If you are going to reply with all sorts of nasty stuff, please don't bother, as I'm not trying to start an argument. Instead, I thought it was possible that you weren't even aware of this rather unattractive behavior.

This is what her roommate sent me....WOW!

Ben,
This is Erica's roommate, Nancy. I wanted to write this to you because your email was pretty upsetting. Clearly, a gentleman you are not.

Number one, "feedback"? Are you a professor of dating? This confuses me as I am a teacher, and feedback is what I give when I get a poorly written essay. Unless you are an authority (i.e. two English degrees) on a subject, offering feedback is condescending and arrogant.

Two, just because Erica makes a good living (as do I--yes, teachers make a nice salary!), NEVER justifies a GENTLEMAN even assuming for a split second that a woman would pay for a first date. EVER. Pick up a an etiquette book, a copy of Esquire, TURN ON THE DAMN EVENING NEWS, hell, ask a homeless guy; MEN pay for dates. Always.

Two and half, $50? The fact that you would even tell her the amount of the bill, on top of assuming she would split it with you, well...really? I go out with guy friends who ALWAYS pay--and would never let me see the bill amount.

Three, a "monstrous" turnoff? That's a big word for someone who didn't have the balls to pay for the bill willingly, and then invite a girl in to watch a movie, thus continuing your date. On top of that, Erica DROVE TO YOU. That etiquette book you need to buy, it would tell you that YOU drive to a where a girl lives, and/or pick her up. Again, obviously no one taught you how to be a gentleman. Hence, you are 41 and single. Who are you to again offer wisdom on what she should not "do...to the next guy.”?

Four, it's a "shame" that she didn't "feel the need" to pay? Are you for real? Are you an illusion, a hologram, a woman inside of a man's body? You are so hung up on money it makes me want to actually punch you in the nuts and decidedly eliminate the possibility that a jerk like you could procreate!

Your attempt at an intellectual retort to an impromptu date that YOU arranged is embarrassing, and ample proof why you are single.

Also, you live in South Beach, right? That's gay. Are you 19? Do you like beer pong? Getting high? Do you regularly "get down" at the Typhoon Saloon? And you own a cat? Oh dear Jesus! And you drive a Lotus? Did the doctor botch your circumcision and just cut your penis off?

You are not an "optimist" as your introduction says. No word of what you wrote would indicate to any person on earth with half a brain that you think positively about anything.

Your email made me sad. Not for you, but for any other girl you end up going out with. Maybe you should just apologize in advance to everyone who comes to meet you at your cool home in SB, you giant pussy.

In the time it took me to write this, I think I may have actually lost brain cells. Enjoy your single life in your cat hair-covered bed sheets.

You're lucky I wrote this, because Erica wanted to take out a full-page ad in the local paper warning all the single girls about douche bags like you. Really, she's got the money.

Next time you go to buy cat food in SOUTH BEACH, think about why you're buying CAT FOOD in SOUTH BEACH at 41-years-old. Wow, that sentence just blew my mind.

Actually, I feel like I need to take a shower now. You disgust me, and women everywhere should be warned about "men" like you.

If you would like to respond, you can email ME. Erica only shared this with me because she could not believe her eyes when this email came in. And being that I am her friend, I felt the need to respond, and break down your phenomenally weak argumentative email.

Hugs,
Nancy

Where do I begin...I'm no Oprah or Judge Judy, but I guess I should be partly flattered and partly confused by being sent this email, especially given the subject line. My words were not sugar coated and my honesty in regards to the bizarre conversation may not have been what he wanted to hear, but hey I'd rather know now that we aren't a good match.
Kate

Friends Without Faces

2011-07-18T21:45:00.000-04:00

We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens,
We all have to wonder, what this possibly means.
With our mouse we roam, through the rooms in a maze,
Looking for something or someone, as we sit in a daze.

We chat with each other, we type all our woes,
Small groups we do form, and gang up on our foes.
We wait for somebody, to type out our name,
We want recognition, but it is always the same.

We hugs, and sometimes flirt,
In IMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we hurt.
We do form friendships - but - why we don't know,
But some of these friendships, will flourish and grow.

Why is it on screen, we can be so bold,
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.
Why is it we share, the thoughts in our mind,
With those we can't see, as though we were blind.

The answer is simple, it is as clear as a bell.
We all have our problems, and need someone to tell.
We can't tell "real" people, but tell someone we must,
So we turn to the 'computer', and to those we can trust.

Even though it is crazy, the truth still remains,
They are Friends Without Faces,
and odd little names deed for another day,
Morning has come in a special way,
May you smile like the sunny rays &
Leave your worries for some other day...

In Life when you get into trouble; don’t get nervous,
Just close your eyes and listen to your Heart;
Because the Heart may be on the left…

But it is always right !! -unknown

The Man

Tag You're It

2011-07-15T20:51:00.000-04:00

You must keep on believing good times will follow. That not every guy is a childish, egotistical, jackass sewer rat. Do I have a sign on me that says, "Please mess with my heart?" But, after a while you start to see a pattern with the type of men you are bringing home and giving exclusive access to your heart.
There is no truth built in a web of lies. Disappointment is thinking all this time that you had the only key to a person's heart and later discovering that it wasn't the right key or heart. That contracts supposedly broken months ago were in fact never terminated. That in fact every word from day one was a bigger lie than the last. It's easy to walk away in the wake of destruction and never think twice about the domino effect of your actions. It's easy to put the blame on the people fighting to piece back their lives. It's easy to stay away when you have a choice and when complicated is the last thing you wanted or needed in your private life.
It sure seems lovely in paradise.
Kate

Balancing Out the Ghost

2011-07-14T10:48:00.000-04:00

Wow. I didn't realize it had been so long since I had written I too am spending my time living life.
Last you all read about me was that it didn't work out with this guy. Our differences had created a barrier. Well not long after I wrote that blog he decided to not allow a barrier to exist. After all, what if this person is the person that you end up spending the rest of your days with. Happy and in love. But you allowed the fear of the possibility of being hurt again stop you. There was never any denying the attraction between us. A blind man could see it. But with so many differences between us you couldn't help but wonder how could it work?
Right now he is in Italy visiting his family. He has been there for almost 7 weeks now. 3 more to go. Its not the easiest "official" beginning to a relationship, but keep in mind that we had been seeing each other for about 6 months before we made it official. This time apart physically is showing us how much we mean to each other emotionally. It is proving to be an important time for us. I must say Thank God for technology though. We are in contact with each other every day. Whether its text messages, emails, phone calls or skype. We have not gone a day without talking to each other. The time difference is a bit of a pain in the butt. When I am getting up in the morning he is going to bed. When I am finishing work he is getting up in the morning. Although we are on different sides of the world the constant contact at times makes me feel like he could just be at home. That he really isn't that far away.
I have started to learn Italian. Not a class or anything, but I throw a CD on in my car, or learn a word to put in a text, or by translating words from his messages. Our differences have now become assets. He is looking forward to teaching me Italian and scuba diving and maybe next year showing me Italy. I look forward to taking him to football games, theme parks and experiencing all things Australian.
I believe in Karma. Maybe this gorgeous man who has come into my life and opened my eyes to so many things is karma's way of balancing out the ghost who broke my heart.
Aussie Gal

Frenemies

2011-07-13T22:50:00.002-04:00

Well, it's been quite some time since writing on the blog. It's not that I don't have much to write about, it's that I, too want to be somewhat private about my life. I first wrote on this site in hopes to tell my side of the dating nightmares, but somehow I was judged and my stories (whether true or not) were read and lead to a few relationships ending before truly getting started.
What if: you met someone, got along great, found you had so much in common, and things seemed great....but then they were able to read into your past? Your failed relationships, things you wrote in confidence in hopes to help someone? but somehow your past ruined your possible future? Let me ask...If everyone you met had a handbook of everything they once did, whom they dated, and past history (good & bad), their likes/dislikes were all right there for you to see, would you read before giving them a chance? We all have skeletons in our closets, and some of our closets are walk-ins, but do you really tell someone everything? Doubtful, but in time, you can slowly tell your stories and adventures if the time is right. Well, here's where I am today...You will never know if what I write is completely true, or written for shock factor. You will never know the "real me". If you want to know "me", than get to know "me"! I met someone and hit it off right away, but there were a few warning signs I should have paid attention to. Or should I have never spoken to a reader whom had a crush on my words on the screen? Well, I shared the "real me" with her, and this is where the mistakes began. Her and I began chatting about our adventures in dating and from writing, we exchanged numbers, then the "likes" on our facebook posts, to the photo comments and so on. We got to a point in which we just had to meet face to face to see if the connection behind the screens and phones were a reality, or just some lustful thoughts. We did eventually meet, hit it off great and began seeing each other on a different level. Yes, it was more than words, texts, and voices. She was beautiful, funny, smart, and it SEEMED we were on the same level. Here's where things got tricky : She told all of her friends about the "real me" and the "writer" me. What happens? her friends read the blog from day one (not knowing if what I wrote were facts of fiction) and told her she must read everything before seeing me again. The calls dropped off, the texts slowed, and the other signs were right there for me to see. She must have read something she just couldn't handle. It took her about a week to get the courage to let me know she read it. She was shocked!! Had I changed from the person she met? NO!! I was the same person she confided in and told me deep, dark secrets of her friends and family. I just find the statement "misery loves company" so true!! Her best friend was sleeping with a married man who recently dumped her, and she just couldn't go through the difficulty of knowing she wasn't wanted by a man who could commit to her, so she turned to whom she "thought" was her best friend. Why I find this whole story so funny is that the woman I was getting along great with, hated this guy her friend was with (when she was single) but when her friend was away, that kitten would play. She actually slept with him on a few occasions, and told her best friend she didn't like him because he was a jerk,but the reality is that it was tough seeing them together. Now it seems I am the "jerk" for not noticing the problems of these types of women. Some people have no idea who their friends truly are. I on the other would never hook up with a buddies friend and then be able to look them in the eye. I'm guessing one or the other will not be truly happy without each other, but this blog may help them to free the demons within. They are both readers, and I'm sure this will arise many questions of their pasts, but perhaps they will learn that if your friend is happy, leave them (and their boyfriend) the fuck alone!! and maybe they will find someone who likes them, and not try to break up happy homes. Sweet dreams :)
The Man

When It Rains, It Pours

2011-07-12T23:27:00.001-04:00

Feast or famine. Isn't that always the case? It seems that the second you move on with your life the past starts knocking on your door. Which isn't a bad thing considering my new company. I would have liked a heads up and some breathing room, but it's all good and even though I am well aware that by tomorrow I could be off the guest list again I am enjoying the party while it lasts.
So last week when I temporarily ran away to the golden state I had a drink with an intriguing stranger at the end of the bar. Absolutely gorgeous man looks like Enrique Iglesias, I'll call him Summer Catch (thanks V). Of course he lives thousands of miles from me, but thanks to technology we haven't stopped talking.
Last night during yet another gypsy adventure I found myself in an unfamiliar place and state. As I sat at the bar sandwiched in between couples I wondered what was next in this epic journey and just then I got a text from Summer Catch. I was on cloud nine. He likes me, he really likes me. Then this morning it started raining men. I woke up to an email from an ex who last month emailed me out of the blue after a year of not speaking to say he had finally found "the one" and was getting married. I congratulated him and questioned why he cared so much about my martial status when he was supposedly about to get hitched. This morning's email was again asking about my martial status. Paradise isn't so lovely after all. Go figure and my BFF emails me to tell me about gossip related to a different ex. Which had I heard it last week I would have been crushed, but now I'm actually happy for him. Then as I'm driving home I literally almost drove into the first ex on the road. Lucky me for remembering license plates and makes and models of old flames vehicles. But, I ended the day with a message from the latest flavor of the month so all is good.
Kate

Patience is a Virtue

2011-07-12T09:33:00.002-04:00

Happiness is a beautiful feeling. Cherish it while it lasts. Chase away your fears and you might be happily surprised what comes next. There rarely is a good reason behind most decisions made, but sometimes the wisest choices are the ones that lack rationalization.
You might be happily surprised by who is waiting for you when you step off the plane or in my case jump out of. If you allow the words and actions of outsiders to mandate how you live the carousel ride will never end. Let you and only you guide the way.
However you get to happiness is up to you, just try not to loss sight of it when everyone around you appears more like the wicked witch than friends and family.
There is a lot I could be writing about now, but for the first time in a long time I'm starting to understand why some people carefully create a very private life. It's easier not to get hurt or be humiliated when no one else knows about your failures or broken heart. I've come to respect this quality, but also come to hate the pressures it puts on others.
If you have nothing to hide then what are you protecting? Fear of not being perfect? Are you afraid that everyone will see past the mysterious allure and unlock the truth? The truth is some people try and chase away their fears by jumping out of planes, flying around the world pretending to be someone else, building walls around their heart, being a bully, being stubborn, speaking before thinking, because they are fragile and vulnerable.
We are who we are. This can't be changed. So instead we have to learn to let go and learn to except that not every relationship will end well or with proper closure. You have to pick yourself up and continue making your way in the world minus one. You might actually enjoy the newfound freedom and determination and you never know where the road less traveled will take you.
With Love,
Kate

Slacker

2011-07-09T19:09:00.001-04:00

We have been totally slacking at writing on the blog. Sorry :O
It just seems so hard to come up with new material when we keep editing away at our daily life more and more before making it public. Somethings really should be left unsaid. Like how I seem to attract only unavailable men who live thousands of miles away. Wonder what that says about me? or how some days (6 out of 7) I just want to get in my car and keep driving. So far I've only made it to the next state and then turned around after discovering that I left my wallet behind, but remembered to grab all my shoes. At least I've got my priorities in order.
Kate

Vanilla Box

2011-07-09T18:38:00.000-04:00

Last Wednesday I woke up and decided I wanted to go skydiving. I had never seriously thought about jumping out of a plane at 15,000 feet before. So then why now? For the last few months I've been drawing outside the lines so to speak, trying to create something new, but instead with each step forward it feels like I'm falling ten steps back. Hense, the idea to literally jump out a window or in this case a plane.
During this same pre mid life crisis I decided I should fly across the country to somewhere new to momentarily escape reality and for a few days it works. I went skydiving on Sunday and spent the rest of the holiday weekend spending some quality time with me, myself and I.
Of course this week when I returned "home" I wanted to jump out of a plane again. Maybe next month...
Kate

I'm Far From Heartless, Just Using My Heart Less

2011-06-29T11:35:00.000-04:00

‎"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."- Marilyn Monroe

There was a point where we could have turned back and our lives would have ended differently. But, what fun would that have been? When you chase a dream or in this case a fantasy failure is not an option that is until one day you wake up minus one. But, for a moment life was perfect and even though the little voice in you was trying to warn you that no one is perfect you brushed off the notion that all might end far from happily ever after.
Fast forward a few months and everything you once believed in and everyone you once trusted with your heart has either disappointed you or left you behind to pursue a happier life. A life that you were suppose to be leading, but instead you feel more like an abandoned child than Cinderella.
Kate

Outward Bound

2011-06-28T12:21:00.001-04:00

This isn't about connection for you. This isn't even about sex for you. This is about finding an outward relief for the pain of being you....And that's fine with me, see, because all I want is the exact same thing..

It seems the days/weeks are passing faster and faster these days without relief in sight. After speaking with numerous friends, no one is at a point in their lives in which they were years past. Many are struggling with either money issues, or the loneliness in which they are not accustomed to. We often think we are alone, but as soon as we discuss where we are, you will realize you're not. Depression is on a rise, as well as the divorce rate and unhappy relationships. They say "money cant buy love or happiness" but it sure can help with the issues affecting most these days. Some of us turn to others in hopes of feeling better ourselves, but the reality is, we need to be happy before we can make others happy. The light of this tunnel is very dim these days, without a flashlight in hand.

I find myself dating people who have been struggling for some time, or often looking for an outlet or something totally different from their norm. I am not something to get over the pain of being yourself ! I too am at a point of new experiences, but it seems somewhat unfair to play with my emotions. Why lie about your happiness and use me for a temporary pawn for your happiness? You may wonder why I have dated so many and never found what I'm looking for, but through experience comes wisdom and knowledge. I will not just be with someone due to the fact I'm lonely! My recent months have been a struggle to find someone with true common interests and not just dating until something better comes along. I invest 100% when I'm truly attracted, and just looking for the same in return. Is this too much to ask?

I have taken a different approach to dating than most. I have been trying my luck online and it seems not to be working so far. Do I meet many people? I sure do..But 98% of the people I meet are just what I call "meet & greets". (in other words, we meet and the "connection" factor is not there on one side or another so we most likely never speak again). But every once and a while, I meet someone whom I am attracted to, and it seems they are as well. The "connection" seems to be there so I turn up my charm (but not to look desperate). It's a tough task at times!! You want to do and say so much, but you then think "whoa!! that might scare them away", so you hold off...This constant mind battle of "should I or shouldn't I" plays hell on the thought process. I always act myself, but may be a little more reserved until I know the feelings are mutual. The frustration factors are high at times...I just want to know "do you like me? Do you want more? " It seems to be a timed process in which is a give and take situation on both parties, but I often wonder why do people continue to talk, text, and want to go out if they only see you as a friend. Is it the free drinks, dinners, and the excitement I bring to the table? Or do they really like me? Well, I guess only time will tell, but the thoughts of alone forever fill my mind daily.
The Man

Single Ladies

2011-06-27T23:24:00.000-04:00

If you're single I'm sure you've asked yourself "Where have all the good one's gone?" I know I sure have a million times. So what do we do? I really have no idea but it seems like if you're single these days, it's so difficult to find a quality match. We all need to figure out exactly what it is that means the most to us. We all have something that is required to want to start a relationship. What is it that you want? or need? "For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it." I do know a few things that are true, (but most women wont want to hear it) ,but here goes: Some women are interested solely on superficial things (money, status, job, securities, clothing, vehicles and so on) that they tend to overlook good guys. Most men who have these things, know this, and will use you until something better comes along..their message is....”If you want me on my terms...great. Then I do not have to feel guilty when I leave you later. If you wanted more, you should not have started with him and he knows this. If you cry foul later, there is no one to blame but yourself.
But yet there are others who truly don't care what you have, or willing to give them. It sucks, but most guys are more interested in looks than all the other qualities. Guys don't care what you drive, what job you have, and all the other superficial crap that (some) women are attracted to. I know I am guilty for starting relationships based upon looks, then seeing what's inside afterwards.
Then you find women/men who are smart, confident, and genuine, but outside they are not as appealing, and do not take care of their bodies. So they stay confused as to why men/women are not attracted to them. Deep down, most men want a sexually attractive woman and will overlook most other things to find this.
When it comes to choosing a mate (with the intention of entering into a successful relationship) you cannot base your criteria on looks alone. True, you may have gotten extremely lucky in the past and dated one of these super models, but the truth of the matter is that your chances of finding the perfect guy or girl are slim to none.

“The things that are important for making a long-term relationship successful are not the things that attract you to someone in the first place”

Think about it. After the initial excitement of a relationship dies down, what is left? Are your partners good looks (which initially attracted you to him or her in the first place) all that they have going for them? What exactly do you two have in common that would enable you to stay together as a couple for 20-40 years?

My advice to the self proclaimed “picky” men and women out there is as follows:

Lower your standards a bit if your intentions are to enter into a serious successful relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to date someone that is 100lbs overweight who sweats bacon grease. There are plenty of “normal” men and women out there who have minor imperfections when it comes to looks. By actively avoiding getting to know these people, you are effectively cutting your chances (by a very large margin) of meeting “the one”.

Make a list of “must haves” when it comes to looks for your next boyfriend or girlfriend. These are physical features that your partner has that you cannot live without. Then take each physical feature and rate it on a scale of 1-10. Let’s say for example you absolutely have to have a guy who has a completely flat stomach (but not necessarily a 6 pack). Rate that a “7″ on a scale of 1-10 (with “10″ being a 6 pack and “1″ being a beer keg for a belly). Then take that “7″ and lower it down 2 points to a “5″. This will include guys who might have a bit of a belly, but nothing obvious or protruding.
Besides, you must look pretty damn hot if you only date people based upon what they look like? So let's get started expanding our minds, and get closer to finding the "one" for us.
The Man

Blue Crush

2011-06-18T07:27:00.000-04:00

‎As difficult as it seems, you can be sure of this: At the core of the heart, you have the power to move beyond the old issues that are still hindering your freedom. The hardest things—the ones that push you up against your limits—are the very things you need to address to make a quantum leap into a fresh inner and outer life.
By the time he responded the storm had passed. I was no longer bitter or upset, but instead happy and thankful. I expect this is how one might feel after a loved one dies. I knew it was over, but the sliver of hope in the unknown kept me alive in the known. One more in a sea of millions had been crossed off the potential list of greatest loves so at least I was getting closer or so I hope.
People come and go from our lives, the ones that stick around are the real deal, the rest are ghosts. Some will leave a haunting and lasting impression on the footsteps of our future, others will be left to rest in peace. Question is who will you be?
SP

Irreplaceable

2011-06-16T22:26:00.000-04:00

Where did time go? It seems like yesterday when I was in what I thought was a happy relationship. It's going on almost 3 years since my split from my fiancee. I was the happiest man alive the day she finally moved out. All the things I "thought" I could have, or was missing out on could now take place. We were together for about 5 yrs, but the last year was more on & off filled with many arguments. I didn't want to be alone, but I knew I didn't want to be with her. So much had changed in the dating world. I thought to myself "shit, I'm just gonna have fun, and play the field for a while"...I didn't want anything serious for a while after going though that. I figured when I wanted to, I could settle down like I've always done. I don't have a hard time meeting and starting relationships and I am super easy-going. What I didn't realize was how much things have changed!!
I dated here and there but never really committed to anyone. I knew what I wasn't going to put up with anymore, and for some reason, it seem to be all I attracted. I didn't mind at first, but just having "fun" got old quickly. I went on hundreds of dates, met a ton of new people, but it always seems something bothered me. Or was it that, it was just so damn easy for me to meet the next one? Either way, I went on living a dream that one day (when I wasn't looking, she would come along) That's the biggest line of bullshit ever!!! I work my ass off, going on dates, being myself, not being myself, agreeing to things I really could care less about, eating foods I'd rather not, and doing just about anything ive never tried before. I didn't want to limit myself to a "type" or someone I may have looked over in the past. I got to know everyone on different levels without making judgments. As I look back, I may have lost some really great women, who had everything I ever wanted (and more) but my past relationships always brought me to check for "red flags". Who had I become? I asked myself many times. I always told myself "everyone has their own flaws" and I have more than most, but for some reason I focused on these troublesome things, and eventually terminated the relationship. On the other hand, there were a few that I had minor issues (or sometimes major) but it didn't matter to me. I liked them enough to let it pass. I now realize that sometimes it's the flaws that I miss the most. Some of the silliest things would piss me off back then, but now I smile as I think that's who made them who they are.
Not too long ago I was dating someone and as I thought things were going fine. She was one who I overlooked these so called flaws without a problem. We clicked from the first date. We met at a unfamiliar area to me, and recommended I parked at a parking lot she knew. As I tried using the machine to pay, I felt like a fool because I had no idea what to do. There was an older gentleman behind me who claimed to know how to use it, so I let him at it. I called her and told her "I must be dumb or something, because I have no idea how to add more time".Just that very moment she comes walking up (we had never met in person) I started staring at this woman on the phone, as we both suddenly broke out laughing. We were about 20 feet from each other the whole time. She was waiting as well to pay for parking. She approached and we introduced each other. She then said "what's wrong with you??? the lady in front of us can do it fine" (well the "lady" was the older man I spoke about before) he turned around and we both started laughing!!! Things were off to a great start. We ended up staying out til about 5 am that night. She then asked (or stated) "you can't drive home now, stay with me"...."as long as you don't try any funny stuff".. I agreed and we went to her place. I was a total gentleman, and was rewarded with compliments the next morning. I ended up staying there the whole weekend. In the following weeks, my weekends were somewhat planned. We did everything together, and I met the family a few times. But here lies an issue we talked about a few times : We NEVER had sex. We slept together, kissed, and other things, but she always told me how glad she was that I never tried that..... So I never did. The weekend plans shortened, and it seemed she was often more busy than before. Had I done something wrong? (I could tell something was weird) It went from weekends, to one day, to maybe next weekend. Right there I knew it was time to move on. I recently asked "something changed, are you ok" she replied "I should have told you sooner, you're an amazing guy, but the connection just wasn't there" Whoa!! I somewhat knew it was coming, but guess I wasn't prepared to hear the cold, hard truth. It sucks to invest so much into things, but without doing so, I would have never gotten to that point perhaps. Were the other reasons? I will never know. Do I really want to know what I did to change her mind? Sure! but in all honesty, what would it matter??? She moved on, and so should I.
I say all this, to say this: Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly. I have been through so much since the break up almost 3 yrs ago. It has all brought me to a point of wondering what's next in store. Will I remain single? Will I meet the future Mrs. "Man" (that sounds kinda F'd up) but it arose many questions recently that I don't have the answers to. For those who are in relationships, and think that you can easily replace what you have, or that having "fun" is what you need, rethink your choices. It's not always greener on the other side (and I know a ton about grass) LOL
The Man

Same Mistake

2011-06-15T22:13:00.000-04:00

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet.
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.
Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go.
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, so here I go.
And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night.
Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.
Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep.
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake,
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars.
Look at the stars fall down.
And wonder where did I go wrong. - James Blunt

A Tale of Two Cities

2011-06-15T21:52:00.001-04:00

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only." - Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

No matter how hard you try, some relationships will just never work out. You may wonder what once attracted you and how it all went so wrong. Here's the thing when someone cries love, just like when the little boy cried wolf eventually you stop believing them.
Looking back now I was a fool to believe his words. If you walk away and never look back, there never was trust or love. Yes, there are times when it seems like everything is working against you, but if you give up were you ever really fighting for anything? If all the words of encouragement were simply errors in judgement later corrected with the bitter truth. If you cared about someone you would think before you spoke or wrote. You would remember the good times before creating really bad times. You would embrace the challenges and not walk away without a care in the world. You wouldn't damage someone who you knew from the start was already damaged goods.
Guess I wasn't prom queen material after all, but then again who said you were the king of anything?
SP

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

2011-06-07T21:11:00.000-04:00

These days I don't have too much to write about, so I figured why not touch upon a few things I'm sure we have all experienced a time or two (or perhaps even now). Ever met that guy or girl you just can't get enough of, but it seems you are the only one feeling this? But yet you still hang out, do things together and enjoy their company? What do they have that we want so badly to be accepted, or to have them for our mate? Is it the fact that they lead us on to a point of confusion? or the fact that we really don't want to know the answer to whether they "really" like us more than that. Or sometimes it is too soon to ask these types of questions without being called "crazy" or sounding kinda stalker-like.

Let's face it, we have all liked someone more than they liked us at one point or another. What we do about it is up to us. There becomes a point in which we need answers to these questions in our heads. First let's evaluate a little about ourselves...

If you have felt that any of these situations apply to your own relationship review this quick checklist to see some of the most typical points of view from those who observe this kind of behavior:

1.I always or often speak only about the things my partner is interested in.
2.I always or often only talk about my partner.
3.All or most of the things I do for fun I do with my partner.
4.All or most of things I do for fun are because of my partner.
5.If I look around my home I see little or no sign of my own taste.
6.When spending money on frivolous items they are usually for my partner.
7.My partner does most of the talking when we are together.
8.I do not often tell my partner how I feel.
9.My partner does not usually notice when something is bothering me.
10.My partner never or does not often compliment me.
11.I never feel happy/I only feel happy when my partner is giving me attention.
12.I have little or no interests outside of my relationship.
13.My partner does not often or never gives me gifts that are only for me.
14.My friends and/or family think that I have changed a lot since entering my relationship for the worse.
15.My other relationships have weakened since entering the one with my partner.
16.When asked what I want I usually look at my partner.
17.I no longer resemble who I was when I met my partner.
18.I tend to think of my partner before I ever think of myself.
19.I dress in the way my partner prefers even if I do not.
20.I no longer know what makes me, me.

If you find that any of these statements are true it might be a sign that either you need change your relationship, or you need to break it off. Enduring this kind of life is not healthy nor does it have much of a chance of making you happy. It is possible that your partner did not mean to become the dominant presence in your relationship and if brought to their attention they might be eager to help you become a stronger person. There are many different ways in which a person who finds themselves in this situation can change things, try to figure out what works best for you and take the necessary steps to make your life better.

Trust those who know you best: Outside of your relationship it is good to have at least one person with whom you can be honest and trust completely. Asking this person how they view your relationship and the changes that have occurred during the time you've been in it can be an excellent way to gain the insight required for change.Without taking steps to reconstruct yourself in happier, healthier way you may never be able to enjoy life in or out of your relationship. Though it can be difficult to muster the courage to change your life, the knowledge that a happier you could exist might give you the strength need to take action. Good luck and much strength to all of you who are brave enough to take on the challenge.

We as human beings are constantly searching for acceptance from others while neglecting to find it within ourselves. I happen to think that one is truly never happy, until he/she finds peace within themselves. Love life, shed light, & the rest will follow. Our minds are so incredibly powerful & we utilize so little of it. At the core, our hearts are pure yet many times we are afraid to feel it!
The Man

Pop Rocks

2011-06-07T00:14:00.000-04:00

If you live through defeat, you are not defeated. If you are beaten but acquire wisdom, you have won. Lose yourself to improve yourself. Only when we shed all self-definition do we find who we really are.

There will come a time when life comes full circle. You start to see the world with a windex view. Priorities and obsessions change and the core is shredded down to an almost non existence. This is the moment you patiently slaved for and dreamed of, but what if you wake up one day and the bubble pops?
No matter how much you organize and prep, you will never be prepared for the obstacle course. Eventually you get the hang of the game and learn how to cheat the system, but the previous errors in judgements will never go away. Over time they will become your trademark. You get it now and although you tell yourself not to repeat the mistakes without thinking you are right back in the same situation a hop, skip and jump later.
Kate

"For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful" - Celine Dion

We're Off To See The Wizard

2011-06-06T19:41:00.001-04:00

Life is just one continuous moment; past & future are only concepts of our mind. The question then is, when it’s all said & done, was the majority of your life spent alive in the moment? OR where you already dead in the past and future?

A part of me feels like we've failed. Each month we write less and our focus has spiraled in many odd directions these days. Some might say this is a great thing, because it means we are enjoying our lives now and not obsessing over events that happened in the past. For the most part this observation is accurate. Life goes on and circumstances change. But, to paint this picture of bliss would be a lie. Life while different than last year is far from ideal.
Priorities have shifted and the hours of the day have been divided in new ways. We have come to realize that not all thoughts or emotions should be written down in this forum. Especially when the words are misunderstood and spun into tales that never existed.
Our true friends have stayed with us for better or worse and we are forever grateful. There are a lot of fakes in the world and when life gets complicated all of a sudden they can't be found. The competition of one upping is the only connection left and even after all the pillow fights and harsh words they haven't got a clue.
Perhaps it's the passive aggressive nature that bugs others. Maybe the truth hurts and certain nameless folk are super sensitive and afraid of pushing buttons. Maybe the truth we once naively believed was never real off screen.
The best motto for life is Nike's "Just Do It!" If you don't you might be kicking yourself years later. Follow the serendipitious yellow brick road...
Kate

Breaking Up Is Never Easy

2011-06-06T19:17:00.000-04:00

There have been some recent comments on the FB page which have
prompted this blog. It all goes back to dealing with the end of a
relationship that was not expected. When you thought that everything
was going great and then it's over.
When my ghost ended our marriage and treated me like I didn’t exist in
person he still felt the need to be nasty towards me on FB. He had to
make the snide remarks. Had to “Like” things like “Is that my Ex. No
it’s the biggest mistake of my life”, “Do you ever look at your ex and
think that’s the biggest mistake of my life” etc. We had a lot of
mutual friends and they all saw these things. I think this was his
way of bad mouthing me to everyone who he couldn’t do it in person to.
The path that I took was different. I moved away and started a new
life. I looked at all the positives. Kept a positive view. Looked
at where this new change in life could take me. And take a guess at
who everyone saw as being the ass in the situation.
When a relationship goes bad there is nothing wrong with venting. It
is part of the healing process. But there are the correct venues.
The people who you trust, who are your best friends. They are the
people who will understand you and agree with everything you say.
They will be the people who will hurt with you. And they will be the
people who will help you heal. Hold your head up high. Be the bigger
person. Deal with your pain with those that will help you. Don’t be
the ass that bad mouths in public. Because you never know whats going
to be thrown back at you…..
Aussie Gal

The Edge of Reason

2011-05-29T17:49:00.000-04:00

Learning how to overcome a breakup will help you be happy again and heal from heartache. To move on after breaking up, you need to focus on healing and recovering – not ruminating or obsessing! These ways to heal heartache and move on after a relationship breakup are based on many questions from readers, who often ask about losing someone they love. (This may not work, but what would it hurt to give it a try?)

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” ~ Anonymous

Ending a relationship hurts, even when you know you’re no good together. And just because it hurts to break up, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to stay together! A broken relationship may leave shards of glass behind…and you may need to walk away. Below are a few ways I read online, and make a lot of sense. We have all been here, and getting back on our feet is necessary to have another relationship.
1. Own your actions – you can take control. I know how hard it is, but taking control, finding your inner strength, and not responding when he contacts you or you want to contact him is one of the best ways to overcome a breakup. You need to take ownership over your life.
2. Listen to what he says, but believe what he does..” If your ex-boyfriend says he can’t get back together with you, believe him. He may say he loves you — and he may truly love you — but if he really wanted to be with you, he would be with you. If he says he isn’t in love with you anymore, you need to focus on other – better – parts of your life. You must accept what he says and move on. Yes, I know it’s difficult….but the sooner you can pull yourself together and overcome the breakup, the happier you’ll be.
3. Stop focusing on your problems, and what you can’t do. Maybe you can’t talk to your friends about the breakup, can’t contact a counselor for professional help, and can’t understand why you can’t heal your heartache and move on. Well, what CAN you do? What steps can you take towards your goals in life? Your first step is to figure out what your short and long-term goals are. Where do you want to be in one month, three months, six months, and a year? Write those down. Then, underneath each goal (for instance, “feel happier and more confident about my future”), write three ways to accomplish that goal (eg, “spend time with people who are positive and optimistic”, or “start a volunteer job that makes me feel good about who and where I am”). Stop focusing on the “I can’t” and “I wish” parts of life. Instead, move forward towards the goals you can achieve!
4. Stay connected to who you are – your authentic self. Many people are confused and uncertain about how they should act with their ex – especially if the breakup isn’t final, or the relationship is going through a rocky time. The best way to sidestep this type of anxiety is to stay in touch with your healthiest, happiest, most fulfilled self. To be happy again, you must do what you love to do, connect with friends and family who know you best, and express yourself in writing or other ways.
5. Keep your long-term life goals in mind. Step back from your emotions and feelings and yearnings for a moment. Answer these questions logically and rationally – write your answers in a journal or diary: Is your boyfriend the healthiest choice for you? Are his life goals in line with your long-term life goals? Is he emotionally, physically, and spiritually available to you? Does he want to work on your relationship? Does he bring out the best in you, and make you feel secure, loved, smart, and independent? Think about your relationship with a cool head and calm mind…let yourself feel all those uncontrollable emotions and yearnings, but don’t get swept away in a tidal wave of hopeless love and devotion!
The Man

"Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger

Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for minute but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger" -Sara Evans-

How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days

2011-05-25T22:33:00.003-04:00

When we open ourselves up to the idea of love, the idea of monogamy, the idea that social tells us is the only way to be it's next to impossible to live up to the expectations without giving away a portion of our soul and independence along the way.
We rush into new friendships and relationships with blinders on. We set ourselves up for a painful fall from grace that in some cases causes us to act out of character and lose sight of what is real and what was made up in a children's book or a romantic comedy. The only different is that in the movies we think the woman trying her best not to lose a guy is funny and cute instead of mentally unstable and of course at the end of the night time story they all live happily ever after.
In just a matter of hours or days we think we have found that special someone that completes us. We think the feeling is mutual and we allow our emotions to get the best of us. We become paranoid and jealous when there is nothing to worry about. We start to act more like a stalker than a lover. We pick fights to get attention. Once the calls stop we panic even more. We realize we fucked up big time. Sure it could have been great, it would have been a blast, but in the end our own insecurities and trust issues got the best of us.
Either we can start a war of words much to do about nothing or we can move on to greener pastures. Make peace with the past, especially one we don't believe was ever properly put to bed. Apologize for your errors in judgement, make amends, but also realize that it is very possible the receiver of your words may no longer care to hear anything. You may never understand why things ended as they did, but does it really matter as long as you are happy within.
In time you never know, maybe love will find it's way back into an opened heart.
Kate

Tough Love Lessons From The Man

2011-05-25T18:11:00.001-04:00

You'll notice that some men and women state "I'm dating a few right now, and they're all wonderful, but there's this ONE that I just can't get... how do I make the one that isn't interested LIKE me?"
This is a curious thing.
We humans always want the approval of the person who doesn't want to give it to us.
Instead of just walking away and saying "your loss", we often chase after them, begging and pleading for their approval... and thinking that we must have done something wrong.
Remember, some people actually ENJOY making other people feel bad. Some men & women actually ENJOY rejecting people. It gives them a feeling of power.
There are some women who will spend all week shopping, two hours putting on their clothing and makeup (and doing their hair), just to go out and get attention from the other sex... so they can reject them, and complain to their friends about what "losers" or "pigs" men are, and how they hate it when men look at them like a "piece of meat". Or on the other hand I've been out with men who think they are "god's gift to women" and do the same.
Let me give you a little "tough love".
Part of growing up, becoming a real man or woman, and getting this area of your life handled is realizing that not everyone is a nice person, and not letting those that aren't nice affect you.
You can reach a point in your life where your attitude become "I do not give anyone permission to take my joy, happiness, and good mood from me".
When you get to this point, then IT DOESN'T MATTER if they don't respond positively to your approach. It doesn't matter if he or she rejects you. It doesn't matter if they don't have a sense of humor. None of this matters when you don't give anyone permission to TAKE YOUR JOY FROM YOU.

My advice: Learn to walk away. Learn to blow it off. Learn how to IMMEDIATELY disconnect and detach from these types of situations, and NOT let them affect you.
The "numbers game" goes both ways. If you start meeting a lot of different people, you will meet quite a few that don't have a sense of humor, aren't friendly, aren't available, etc. You need to learn the skill of keeping your power and joy for yourself, and NEVER giving it to someone you don't even know.
The Man (aka Golden Boy of the moment)

Love Hate Relationship

2011-05-23T18:45:00.001-04:00

I sometimes wondered why some relationships and people can go to extremes, but after seeing it firsthand a few times I wanted to do a little research. Love/Hate relationships puzzle most people due to the dynamics that come into play. It is confusing how two strong emotions such as love & hate are involved. How does this happen? And how can such changes take place in less than 24 hours at times? There are so many factors that contribute to these harsh feelings, and below are a few I found online.

To deal with a love hate relationship you first need to realize that there is a problem. Many people involved in a hate love relationship are clueless as to what real love is. This is due, more times than not, to the environment they were raised, which was dysfunctional.

Dysfunctional families lack understanding of right and wrong when it comes to relationships. There is too much drama, chaos and confusion on a daily basis to experience anything that resembles stability. It is learned at an early age to manipulate with emotions such as crying and anger.

Understand that the hate you feel is not hate for the person, but hate at what they do or did. This is how a man ends up killing his wife of 20 years; he loves her, but is angry at something she did such as cheating or divorce. An example of the love hate relationship in the extreme.

The issue is what to do when a love hate relationship is extreme and almost out of control. To fix this both parties must be willing to get help. One person seeking help won't get it. Counseling is a must, whether it's a pastor or psychologist. Baggage from the past must be dealt with and resolved for a healthy relationship to be possible.

I have noticed a distinct difference in guys and girls. Most guys generally don't have particularly strong feelings of love or hatred towards other people. They generally get along with other people fairly easily, as long as no one is about to 'strangle them'. It is just that I notice some people go to the extremes rather than brushing it off. Is it how we are hardwired as men in comparison to women? Who knows! don't get me wrong, we do feel these emotions, but generally don't share them with the world. I think the most important factor is that we are not mad at that person, we are mad at what they did, which arises these inner feelings of hatred.

Some people have either very strong feelings of love-affection for someone, or extreme hatred. Is my analysis right? Why do some people have extremes in their personalities (extreme love or hatred)? Why do they feel they have to ruin someone's life if they dislike them/hate them? I asked a woman to help me out with this:

As for women that do this, I try to achieve harmony in my life so I don't have a love-hate relationship with anyone or anything, including myself. I have a love-love relationship with these things. I can't like it all the time, but that doesn't mean I should hold a grudge. However, I think that women are more prone to this for two reasons:

1. They are free to show their emotions. If men were free to show their emotions, you'd notice more emotional men.

2. It's socially acceptable and found in various media. Movies like Mean Girls and accompanying books influence young girls by making them think that's acceptable behavior, the same way movies that show boys acting tough influences them to think that they're supposed to be hardasses.

I agree with you, some people seem to take everything personally, so they're easily offended. Men tend to just let things roll off their backs. That's why I have exactly 2 female friends.

So with that said, burning bridges and saying hurtful things is not going to make things "better", but it may somehow fill the void of missing that someone you once cared for. I personally have been hurt in the past too, but some things are better left alone.
The Man

Sexy Time

2011-05-21T18:08:00.000-04:00

For a long time now women have wondered why some guys have sex with them and not talk to them again..While others have one night stands all the time and see nothing wrong with it. Some women want to "wait" for the right time but let me say this...Guys will say/do just about anything to get laid. We all want a committed long-term relationship and have tried all different methods to achieve it. We have tried new and even old techniques and for some of us, nothing has worked. I,myself have even said "if I really like them, I will wait for sex", but here lies a problem. We both wait for whenever we feel the time is right for us, but what if after we wait, it's not what we like? or what if they don't enjoy the same as us?, or if it just dosn't feel right? or if they are not willing to do the things we like and do? We are taught that it's not proper to talk about such issues, but honestly....If we knew this, it may not just be a one time thing.
Women always say guys are just looking to get laid, but what if we want a relationship, but you don't enjoy sex? How about this...We like you, spend whatever time it takes before making a move on you, you/we begin to develop deep feelings for eachother and after we finally have sexual relations it's not what you/I expected? Sure some can learn, but what if it's something that just can't be taught? What if it's a physical thing? Let's say this..you like the guy, you wait and wait til it's "special" and once you finally do it, he has the smallest pecker you've ever seen and it's impossible to achieve satisfaction? Do you continue the relationship? hmmm...doubt it! but some might. (hope you have plenty of toys and that he fills those other voids for you). Have you ever been mad that you gave it up, and he never called you again? Well, sure some guys just want to get laid, but yet others have likes/dislikes they choose not to settle without. Turn the tables, guys need/ want to find the same things you do (for the most part) but the physical level is very important to us. Most women connect on an emotional level before physically. Where as men tend to do the opposite. We know this and do what it takes to build this connection with you.
So where do we go from here? Should we ask a little about the sexuality of someone before the act? I honestly don't know, but sometimes it would clear things up beforehand.I have dated numerous types of women and if you think all are the same, you're dead wrong! Here's a few examples (18 or younger skip this section): some women have a bush from the 70's and refuse to trim Ewww!!, some women have an odor that can't be removed in a pool of bleach or perfume, I'm not a huge guy, but some have a @#$%#$5 that seems to have had a grenade explode inside, while others can't produce lube. And yet others can't achieve an orgasm from sex.(sounds weird, but I've seen this a few times) and there are just some who don't enjoy the act itself. So you wonder why guys "change" sometimes? There are various reasons, but I figured I would try to touch on this today.
Where do we start? When is the right time for these types of questions? Is there ever a "right" time for sex? I think these are only questions we can answer ourselves. We are all different when it comes to this subject, and all have different beliefs, but hopefully we all find someone who fit's exactly what we desire. I know we all build expectations, hopes, and dreams, but what we should do is try to take things for what they are until the time is right.
The Man

Inception

2011-05-19T22:51:00.000-04:00

"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken,and I'd rather remember it at it's best than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived." - Margaret Mitchell

The surroundings have not changed. Who was I kidding thinking I could walk away and start over so easily? The walls are no longer protection from the elements. Instead we have been isolated from the real world. Ignorant and innocent to what is fantasy and what is reality. The dreams of what could have, should have and may one day be, quickly consume the waking hours. Well aware that the bubble world of the elite is a Cinderella hoax, yet carelessly disregarding the obvious.
SP

Mad World

2011-05-17T22:28:00.000-04:00

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

Fear

2011-05-14T18:21:00.000-04:00

I laughed for a moment. Almost thankful that finally he got it. That this was not a healthy existence, but when I replayed his words he hadn't been listening to me at all. Instead we were right back in the verbally abusive circle. "I don't want to be apart of your miserable life. Keep your unhappiness to yourself. No one cares."
He continued to scream at me, but I no longer was listening. I was emotionless and dead inside. At that moment what little hope I had left to cling onto had disappeared. Who was playing who now?
Subconsciously I knew this was how it would end. But, even when it seemed like the writing was on the wall I still wanted to believe everything would turn out okay.
SP

Lost Space

2011-05-09T20:10:00.000-04:00

There are so many differences between the thoughts of a man and woman, but I still believe one thing that works for both of us.All relationships go through tests and only the strong survive when pushed to their limits. I usually talk about what dosn't work, but today I want to share something I have know is necessary.
It is worth spending quality time with your loved ones, but, compelling them to stick to you 24 hours is no way to stay in a relationship. Holding on to your relationship selfishly and not letting your spouse be independent could let your relationship turn sour. Many people fail to realize that individuals differ in their approach to life. We should learn to accept each other's differences and give our partners their desired space in the relationship. Giving space is important to maintain a healthy relationship.
Relationships can be compared to sand, since the moment you hold it tightly in your palm, it starts slipping off, and if you hold it loosely, it remains. In a relationship too, you need to learn to hold it loosely and not impose things on your better half. In fact, giving each other enough space is the key for a successful relationship. If you take a look at lasting and successful relationships, you would realize that these couple don't always spend time sticking to each other. They do spend quality time together, but at same time know how important it is to let each other do things the way they like.
Always sticking to each other can really make the relationship boring. Your spouse or partner should be able to miss you. Remember the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". Missing each other makes you want each other more and love remains forever.
When you eat too much of sweet stuff, you tend to get sick of it at least for a while. However, if you keep a balance between spicy and sweet, you would enjoy it more. Too much of sweetness or togetherness can also be harmful in a relationship. Thus, it is best to give each other some space to adjust. When your husband is going out fishing with the boys, or having a few beers, you can go shopping or catch up with your friends too. Let this time work for the both of you.
To maintain a good relationship, you can divide your time doing things with your partner and things that you want to do alone or with your friends. You can always plan to spend one day of the week with your friends and the other with your spouse. This way you won't have too much or too less of each other. However, this is again not possible without trusting your partner. Trust forms the basis of every relationship and you need to learn to believe in your partner. Most couples do not give each other space because there is a lack of trust in their relationship. This can only give rise to unwanted quarrels, taking away the charm of your love life.
Space in a relationship is highly recommended to make it last forever. There has to be space for openness that can allow your partner to his or her own stuff without feeling any guilt. Other than loving your spouse, you also need to love yourself and thus you need to take off time to pamper yourself. It is good to maintain your identity and be the person you have always been. This way there is no frustration in the relationship and it works smoothly without hurting anyone's emotions, as the needs of both the partners are taken care of.
If you have experienced any trouble in your relationship, try giving each other some space. Give yourself a chance to miss your spouse. It is important for your better half to miss you and realize the depth of your love. No relationship can work better without giving it the required space. It is the biggest secret of every healthy relationship."no flower can grow in the shade" So try not to smother them, and all greatness will blossom.
The Man

Love and Marriage

2011-05-08T23:45:00.000-04:00

"A love you have to chase and chase isn't love. It is poison. Let it go and love yourself."

In my most recent hunt for the perfect mate I have expanded my focus and allowed once potential outcasts to be possible new crushes. I've got very little fate in a higher power matchmaker, but I've learned to go into all conversations with new people with an open mind. But, my pessimist outlook on life leaves the glass half empty.
Some of us are born with the idea that happiness can be found in the classifieds. That marriage is followed by children and a new house. While others believe that love and marriage are dead. Trust is for those who believe in ghost adventures. I do not.
I think we all wear our hearts and open ourselves up to environments and people we once said we would never like. No matter how many times we say we will never make the same mistakes again, at some time or another we always seem to go in a circle. Eventually we either fall off the hamster wheel and break our neck or we fly like a bird.
Kate

Gossip Girl

2011-05-02T20:44:00.001-04:00

The Man's post yesterday got me thinking about impulsive and poor decisions made in the heat of the moment. In wasn't all to long ago that I set myself up for complete and utter failure on so many levels when I put myself and my thoughts about personal acquaintances on the world wide web for all to read and gossip about. Naively unaware that my words and actions would have a long lasting effect on my so called friends and strangers alike. I stepped very far out of my comfort zone last summer when I allowed myself to become emotional involved with someone I barely knew.
McDreamy and I lost touch some time ago. I do not regret allowing him to write on this blog in what would appear to be very intimate details at times. It is all part of the permanent reminder of a life once lived and I feel fortunate enough to have walked away a stronger and wiser person.
We all make choices at times that are outside of our comfort zone, not always thinking about the future and possible consequences of those seemingly innocent decisions. Since the breakup with McDreamy I have kept a low profile offline as well as online. But, the main reason my entries on here have basically stopped all together is because I don't want to be the star of gossip girl anymore. I will never allow myself to be so vulnerable ever again and I will never trust anyone but my very inner circle with my most intimate thoughts of the day. This I have learned the hard way never ends well. What you say or do in the heat of the moment can never be erased from memory and to move forward in some cases means walking away from someone who once was the essence of your world.
I must admit I was a bit surprised to hear through the grapevine about the recent love connection via our blog fan page. I was delighted and at times amused by the online public displays of affection and I wish you both the best. Good luck in your long distance love affair.
SP

Breaking Bad

2011-05-01T17:03:00.000-04:00

I knew once this happened for me so much would change...At the beginning I wrote whatever was on my mind without a care in the world. There were things I said that may have hurt some, made others evaluate themselves, and made others mad, but I spoke my mind freely. I once picked on "McDreamy" for opening up on here about his new found relationship. I told him now that he's in a relationship, he would hold back from his feelings and be more sensitive about what he writes. I knew this were all so true and he entered a whole new thing when he pronounced his feelings to thousands on this blog. Relationships are hard enough between two people, but yet now my thoughts/writings need to be sensitive to not hurt her as well. It was tough enough that she was able to read my past, now she can see into my present thoughts as well. As many of you read I recently met someone special. I am usually a very private person (off the blog) but I stepped out of my comfort level. I did things that broke my "rules" (friends on Facebook, relationship changes, posted songs,and pronounced my feelings to hundreds) and although I knew it was wrong, I did all of this without thinking twice. Many of my friends were shocked, to say the least!, but I did it and was happy about it. I now feel the distance between us has her a bit worried.
"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough"
I once wrote about long-distance relationships, and what I thought would make them work. They are tough! and require much more work than the ones close, but given the right circumstances, they can become reality. Nothing is easy... I will not be writing about "us", but now I think that some of what I write may be taken out of context. All I will say is I always thought that there was this one perfect person for everybody in the world, you know, and when you found that person the rest of the world kind of magically faded away, and, you know, the two of you would just be inside this kind of protective bubble, but there is no bubble, I mean if there is you have to make it, I just think life is more than a series of moments, you know, we can make choices, and we can choose to protect the people we love, and that's what makes us who we are and those are the real memories. The fact of the matter is that I write on a blog with close to 50,000 readers...you can read about my past relationships, the women I thought were "the one," my screwed up thoughts about relationships, and the words/feeling I used to describe how I felt in the past. A very select number of readers know exactly who I am, and even those very few don't know everything. I refuse to write about my thoughts/feelings about my current relationship. I am already judged upon my past and that hasn't worked in my favor. Like I said, I broke many rules, and not that I have "changed" for someone, but I don't want my writings taken out of context. I will forever have words on a blog that can never be erased. In all honesty, a woman loves to see a man profess his love to thousands, but I only need to make you happy, not all the readers, and Facebookers. When a couple, whether it's a dating relationship or marriage, decides to go through a long distance relationship, things can get a bit tough. Constant worries and frustrations about being apart from your loved one can change relationships. But for real couples in committed long distance relationships,circumstances can be changed by trust, honesty, and sacrifice.
I have so much to write about, and I will continue to try my best to give my point of view. I am glad so many are happy to see there is hope out there for us. We both know so little about the thoughts of a man or woman, but with time, will slowly begin to understand and eventually love the differences.
The Man

Monster's Ball

2011-04-30T23:38:00.000-04:00

No words ever have to be spoken. You just know from the simplest of actions exactly who the real monsters are. They might pretend to be rockstars in the making or happy go lucky soccer moms, but it's all just an act that the majority of people will buy.
If you let the monsters out of the closet you will finally "get it." The monster is afraid of you, but has managed to create this ridicilously amazing and mysterious persona that for a long time made you believe you were in the presence of greatness.
This has always been true, as the real star of the show has always been you and not some rockstar wannabe who years later you figured out was never going to amount to anything and who had no modivation to challenge themselves or grow. Money talks and at the end of the day there are a bunch of mouths to fit. It's just a shame to waste talent, because you started a family.
That's the difference between us. My words may come out of left field from time to time, but I will always back up my actions. If I say I'm going to do accomplish something I will. I would never let anyone become the co-pilot of my solo mission. It just sucks that it took me all this time to finally see thru the layers of bullshit.
Well the ball is over. The glass slipper has been retrieved. The promises of false hope forgiven and gradually forgotten. Nonetheless I still wish you the best. You never were going to leave were you? It was just a game to you? To see how far the illusion could take you.
Kate

The Chronicles of Narnia

2011-04-28T19:40:00.001-04:00

All the twists and turns will never prepare you for the final curtain call. You may have been expecting the blackout for some time, but how and why will leave you speechless. Moving forward seems impossible, but the clock keeps ticking and the days eventually start adding up. Time passing mentally slows and the only thing that brings you happiness is dreaming of a life in Narnia.
If you click your heels three times no fairy godmother or Prince William will magically appear. If you don't like your life at least attempt to change it, but NEVER ever pack your bags and move away for a man or because of one. It only shows your weakness. Sure it's dramatic and proves a point, but it doesn't really change anything. If you, yourself have not changed then you will continue to repeat the same poor choices and enter into similar bad relationships.
The only way to win isn't to seek revenge it's to never vanish, but rather to remain a constant reminder of a life once lived. If you disappear you will quickly be forgotten. But, if you continue to surface, no matter how hard the person who did you wrong tries they will NEVER be able to forget you. Which is the sweetest ending to a bitter lullaby.
Kate

You've Got Mail

2011-04-26T21:09:00.001-04:00

“It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.” - Bette Midler

When we put our trust in the hands of others we become a hollow, wooden puppet hoping that the next move is the show stopper. While advice from the peanut gallery is a good way of getting different views on a situation it shouldn't be the final decision maker.
If you follow your heart and keep your expectations low, you maybe pleasantly surprised where it takes you. Dead relationships may never get a fresh start, but hopefully as the days go by you can once again be civil with one another and dare I say even friendly. In some cases a little time and distance apart may recharge a once flourishing love.
But, no matter how much time passes not all can be forgotten. The true test is if you can survive the next storm. Even though it's easy to get caught up in the obsession and chase with little regard to past mistakes or future hiccups hopefully you will have learned a lesson or two since then.
Life isn't perfect. It rarely goes according to plan. But, if you roll with the punches you will come out wiser and stronger.
Kate

Butterfly Avalanche

2011-04-24T17:11:00.000-04:00

If we knew why we wouldn't be here. If we could pinpoint to the very second the avalanche started we wouldn't have questioned or judged. If we believed in the magic eight ball's depressing answer to all life's questions we would have stopped putting our faith in a cardboard box.
For whatever reason we still believe in miracles. In random chance encounters, in love at first sight, in happily ever after and prince charming. But, we know now that it would be naive to change our course simply because of a butterfly feeling.
All that ends well rarely starts out pain free. All the little monsters in the closet will remain under lock and key unless we sell our souls to the devil.
There will come a time when peace and harmony sleep side by side again. For now we shall enjoy the few moments of serenity. Well aware that anyday now the storm may return for a rematch.
Kate

It's Not Working

2011-04-22T10:43:00.000-04:00

Break ups are never easy. Especially when there are strong feelings involved. As you may guess it did not work out for me. I guess his fears were stronger than his feelings for me. We are different people. There is no denying that. For starters he is Italian. I am Australian. We had different upbringings,different cultures. He is a scuba diving instructor and I am an accountant. He has said on occasions that we are from different planets and he can't see how we could be a match. I, on the other hand look at it from another perspective. Different is good. Different gives you so much to learn about each other. About life. As I have mentioned he has inspired me to do things. Learn another language. Travel overseas. See the world. To love myself. I look at things differently. I appreciate things in a different way. He has made an incredible impact on my life without knowing. I was always too busy. Never took the opportunity to do simple things like a walk on the beach at sunset. Sit and watch the waves and listen to the ocean for a couple of hours. Watch the moon rise. Listen to the birds.
I am not bitter in any way about this. As The Man has said on numerous occasions. If a guy wants to be with you he will do everything in his power to be with you. In this case I guess it just wasn't meant to be. If it was it would be easy. There shouldn't be an inner struggle between feelings and fear. This should be the 'Honeymoon' period. And because of how strong my feelings are for him I don't want to see him struggle with himself. So I have to let him go and release him from that. No matter how much it hurts me.
Aussie Gal

Blink

2011-04-18T21:57:00.000-04:00

What becomes of the broken hearted? In a way we are all ghosts searching for Casper in an abandoned castle that once housed love. The people closest to us will one day leave with nothing but the clothes on their back. For a long time you will seek answers even though you know you can't go back and change the course of events. The ghosts will stay with you long after the lights are turned on. Everyday will be a constant reminder of what could have and should have been.
The fate of others unknowingly lies in the hands of strangers. Which isn't always a good thing. Foolishly we allow ourselves to believe that this time will be different. That finally it is our time to shine, but with the blink of an eye we are rudely awakened to the sad reality that not every story has a happy ending. In the event that the yellow brick road stops short and leads you to a never ending hamster ride at Willy Wonka's factory start spiking the water fountain.
Kate

Rubber Heart

2011-04-15T20:45:00.001-04:00

So I may have stuffed up big time. I want to protect myself. Protect myself from being hurt again. But maybe I am being too over protective. I think it has worked against me.
I have been seeing an amazing guy for about four months now. We started slow and over time we became more attached. And it has been great.He is completely different to any other guy I have met. We have feelings for each other. There is no denying that. Just ask the people who see us together. Lol.
But my problem is that I have been holding back my thoughts, my feelings and I guess in a way who I am because I am afraid of letting it all out there only to be hurt again. I have been there before. And had my heart torn to pieces. And I am shit scared about letting that happen again. The last one not only broke my heart but also the hearts of my family and friends. I have to protect them as well.
I am falling for this guy. I do know the last thing he would ever want to do is hurt me. He has the sweetest heart and soul. And he has opened my eyes up to many things. He has inspired me to do certain things in my life. Maybe I need to trust him with my heart and to be more open with him and I am willing to do that…
Aussie Gal

Left of Center

2011-04-14T04:01:00.000-04:00

I've been gone for awhile from the blog and enjoying life without having to worry about what semi personal detail I should expose. Much like learning to ride a bicycle I have gradually gained a new found confidence in myself and no longer need the training wheels. I've hit a few pot holes, fell down a bunch of times, but I keep getting back up and going out everyday with a fresh outlook on life.
I've missed a few birthdays and milestones, but the interest in our fragile existence surprisingly continues to multiple. I must admit I do enjoy being able to keep my private life, private, but I also miss feeling like I am part of something profound. Maybe one day I will write again on here, but for the time being I'm enjoying my seemingly normal life.
Where ever your travels take you I wish you the best and I hope that this one is "the one." But, if not there is always happiness left of center. Congratulations to all that have found love or at least a warm body to lay next to and most importantly congratulations to those who have not let their past mistakes define their existence.
Summer

Survivor

2011-04-11T20:17:00.001-04:00

There maybe many more fish in the sea, but if you never fully allow yourself to be open to the idea of love and happiness than you will never find what you are seeking. At a certain point you must let go of your rules and checklists and stop taking the advice of others. Follow your heart. If you feel questions were left unanswered. Ask for an answer. If you like someone, tell them. Speak out of turn. Say what is on your mind. Don't create a world that is impossible to live in. What you hear may not be what you were wishing for, but hopefully it will give you some peace of mind.
We are edging closer to 43,000 Love Bites groupies. Pretty freakin' amazing especially considering that only one year ago there were just a handful of supporters of our wild and crazy experiment.
The price is far grander as are the stakes. Good thing we like to take risks and gamble away the fate of others. Let the real fun begin!
Kate

Survivor - Destiny's Child
(rather fitting at the moment. Don't you think?)

"Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer,
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder,
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiser,
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter,
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,
Sold nine million.

I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm inhalin'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
Perfect vision,
You thought I couldn't last without ya,
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without ya,
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without ya,
But I'm on top,
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still gon' be here.

I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine...
(I'm better than that)

I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what)

After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity."

Almost Married

2011-04-08T19:57:00.001-04:00

I see there have been some talks about two people finding each other..Well, I guess I should step forward and tell you, IT'S ME!!! Let me first say, in order to truly understand why this has such big meaning, you need to read the earlier blogs. I have been "searching" for many years to find the one "perfect for me". I am the type that it either works, or it dosn't...I know exactly what I wanted, but never knew it actually exists! So many of us look and look, go on endless dates and end up just settling for what works. Let me say...I am a picky SOB and it takes something very special to catch my eye..She has not only caught my eye, she is a gift I always wanted, but never thought I would receive.
There are so many factors that go into determining whether or not the person you’re with is the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with. It’s not a decision that should be taken lightly, or that should be done without a considerable about of thought and internal preparation. I have learned through many experiences that we attract exactly what we are looking for at that time. If you're looking for "fun" that's all it will ever be. If you're looking for "sex", then sex will come to you as well...You can't change who you attract! We attract mirror images of ourselves, and history will repeat itself, until you find the power to change. Ever heard the saying "can't turn a hooker into a housewife"? well, most of us would love to have a experienced pornstar type woman who is a virgin, but com'on!! that will never happen! Everyone has a past, and many of us need to experience these things before our "gift" comes to us as well. You need to accept things as they are, never settle for something/someone who isn't your equal, and he/she will arrive
when you least expect it. As soon as we met, everything in my life lined up! I KNOW this is a higher power that has drawn us together. Many will think im full of shit, but when you have this internal feeling, you will know they are "the one". It can be mistaken sometimes, but you will just know. Words can not explain the feeling that runs throughout your body.
Here's where things get crazy: As we travel through life we always have a mental picture of what our future will look like. We look out five, ten, fifteen and sometimes even twenty or thirty years into our future and contemplate what our little worlds will look like. When I was single, I’d look out in to my future and see myself single throughout my mid-twenties, married and enjoying life in my late twenties and early 30′s, a parent in my 30′s and a grandparent somewhere in my 60′s. In all that projecting, the person I projected by my side was always some beautiful phantom of a woman whose face I could never quite discern because I had yet to meet her. That all changed the moment we spoke! When I imagined my future life, the face of the beautiful woman standing next to me in both my immediate and long term future was clear. It was her!!!, and there was nothing I could do to shake that. My dreams have now become a reality and I am on the
journey of forever.
So, how do you know when someone is the one? I guess it’s different for everyone.. for me, I just knew. She is just an amazing woman, everything I always wished for. Knowing all the shit I had to go through to find her, I would have done it a million times if my reward were the same.
The Man

Gypsy Kingdom

2011-04-05T20:12:00.000-04:00

So many times we put our fate in the hands of a drunken fortune teller. We hold our breath for a pipe dream that expired before it was conceived. We forget the mistakes of our past because we want to believe this time will be different. But, it never is. Maybe in the end what we come to understand is nothing more than what we originally believed.
The carousel continues to spin long after the ride ended. The candy coated shell sits idle contemplating how to safety eject with the silly notion that we can cheat death and free fall to paradise.
The vision of home sweet home is what keeps us moving forward. What keeps us alive inside even when the wounds of the battle appear to have gotten the best of us.
Love Bites is celebrating it's first birthday today. It's been a surreal year and the real adventure is just beginning. We hope you stay along for the ride and bring along your super fabulous friends too.
Cheers y'all! Especially to my fellow partners in crime. Thanks for the inspiration, support and love. xoxo
With Love,
Kate

RIP Donny K

2011-04-05T19:43:00.000-04:00

On Sunday morning I woke to some bad news… One of my old bosses of nine and a half years had passed away. Some people have facebooked their thoughts but this is my venue. He was not only my boss but a good friend. Completely unexpected. He went to sleep on Friday night and did not wake up. We were meant to catch up last weekend but I postponed it for other reasons. Now I feel bad. I missed my chance. We were then meant to see each other next weekend but….. But I look at the silver lining that as he wasn’t catching up with me he took the time to see his brother who he said he hadn’t seen in years. It’s more important that his brother got the chance to see him than me. He was a month away from his 60th. Still too young. Especially considering he ran on the beach every morning and marathons. I don’t want this blog to be depressing but more of a reality check. You never know when your time is up. And in some cases you aren’t given the opportunity to say goodbye. When I got the news I made sure I spoke to my sister and called my parents just to tell them that I loved them. I am organizing nights to see good friends who I haven’t seen since I left JSR.
Don’t let opportunities pass you by because you are scared of what might happen. Scared of what might not happen. Scared of differences. Life is full of risks... I guess that is what life is all about. What if that one thing you turned away from could have been the best thing for you? Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering or regretting it? As we all know on here Love & Life hurts us at one point or another. But it’s the fact that we pick ourselves up and continue on that journey. And we may get knocked down many times but eventually we will find happiness. We just have to be open to it….
RIP Donny K….
Aussie Gal

The Met

2011-04-03T20:41:00.000-04:00

There will come a day when you look around and home is no longer a meditative place to rest or relax. The four walls that once enclosed love, hope and laughter have now been picked bone dry and are bleeding with hate and anger. This dance could continue for as long as you live or it can end with one final blow to the heart.
Every word and action is chopped and spit out with opera like emotion and a killer cold reaction. Will you ever love again? Will you ever trust again? Will you ever be free?
You start to wonder if any of your memories from happier times were ever real because to effortlessly walk away and forget love well means it never was love to begin with. Say what you want, but it's a bit of a one sided argument when everything not perfect about the other is looked over and everything else is criticized and bashed. It may have hurt at one point, but now it's just ammunition for my jet setting heart to pack up and move as far as away from this fucked up, bull shit existence presently called life.
Kate

Mixed Signals

2011-03-31T19:54:00.002-04:00

After some of you read my last blog, you may have thought "what an idiot", but I need to add some more details.

She NEVER mentioned this fact to me. When we met, she told me she was happy I was that cute (her words), She said I looked better in person, Loved my eyes, and more! Plus here were a few other "mixed signals" : Introduces me to her mom, showed me where she lives, offered a massage (just a regular one..not the "happy-ending" kind), told me I have to meet her friends, told her friends about me, when she fell asleep, it was in my lap, fed me a few times while we ate, bought me a shirt, and some more I cant think of right now. Does this sound like a "hang out" buddy to you? or was she truly interested? I have no idea! Why all these mixed signals? or do I want a relationship so badly I created this to be more than what it was? I do have tons of female friends, but usually these things are never done. There is a line that is never crossed, and usually stated form the beginning. I think the situation is extremely funny, but was I getting mixed signals?

Let’s be honest: Dating is full of uncertainty. In fact, that’s what makes it exciting (occasionally disappointing). It’s the waiting to see if someone will call—or fall for you, for that matter. Sometimes, though, the signals can get a little too confusing. And, that situation can be worse than a brush-off, since you’re not sure whether to hang on or cut bait. I guess I will never figure out the woman's mind!
The Man

Dead End

2011-03-31T19:48:00.001-04:00

My life should be made into a book! Ohh, it has somewhat become one. lol
Well, there's never a dull moment with me. I have been talking to someone for about two weeks now.(Met her on a dating site) We "talked" about three weeks prior to exchanging numbers. I knew she was recently divorced and didn't want any commitments. We had great conversations and to add to it she was very beautiful. From the start, she said "these dating sites are a joke." "I would NEVER meet anyone from here." So as our talks continue, we realize we have so much in common so there was only one thing to do...MEET.
It was a daytime meet, in a public place (the mall), I did the girly thing and went shopping (or I walked with her as she shopped). Conversation was ever better in person. As time passed, we both got hungry, so I suggested we have dinner. Usually it's only a "meet and greet" , but the comfort level was high, so the date went on. After finishing eating we realized we were there for 3 hours! Time passed effortlessly. She then said she didn't want this night to end. I was somewhat shocked, but was right there with her. We then went to a sports-bar and stayed there much longer. We both had things to do the next day, so we parted ways. The texts were flowing as we both headed our separate ways.
From that day forth, we did the "good morning's", "how's your day", "what's for lunch", and much more. There wasn't a day that passed without talking every couple hours. The following weekend, we played tennis, had brunch, and even a few dinners. she then asked "hey, don't you like to cook? can we just have dinner at your place, and maybe a movie?" I didn't have to think twice! "YUP, sounds like a plan". I then did what every bachelor does when someone is coming to your house....... I went nuts cleaning!! I even bought a new vaccum.LOL. I bought all the new air-fresheners, lit some candles, set the dimmers a little lower, and freaked out!! she was coming over here! My place was a mess (well, not really) but I wanted to impress.
Dinner was flawless, candles were just right, and everything was falling in place. I popped the movie in and noticed the body language was a little different (sign 1). I didn't think too much about it until I looked again, and BAM!..she was asleep.(sign 2) No holding hands, no kisses ever exchanged, and when there was physical contact, it was quickly corrected (sign 3). Thse signs kept adding up, but I didn't think twice..We went out several times,she was recently divorced....no need to rush anything.
The following few days she wanted to see me again so we hung out. Here's where I picked up on a big one...She was telling a cute story and all of a sudden she asked "what are you thinking?" I wanted to be honest, so I told her "at that moment I wanted to give you a kiss (not a deep, passionate one, a pop-kiss) She then looked around and said "what! here?" I figured because we were eating at a public place, she didn't want to be embarrassed (public display of affection). Again I should have thought something was up, but nope.
Today I had hit my limit of small-talk and was curious as to what I was seeing/hearing. I told her "recently I saw you using the word "friend" when we talked", and even when you texted a few times, you mentioned "I am glad to have a (friend) like you". So am I a "friend" or something more? She replies "well, you havent hit the friend level just yet, but you're pretty close". WTF? I thought to myself.....she then tells me I usually don't consider someone a "friend" for a while, but you're different". Ok, I'm getting really confused at this point. She then goes on to tell me she is glad we met, and it's tough to find a guy who only wants to "hang out" and not try to get laid. She goes on to say how comfortable I have made her feel to have a guy who only wants to chill, and expects nothing in return. OK AT THIS POINT I WAS LOST!! DID SHE THINK I WAS GAY OR SOMETHING??? nope! She then goes on and asked "why? did you want more?" Hell yea, I want a girlfriend, or at least know I'm working towards that point. She then askes "why would you ever think that?" ahahha!! well..... we did meet on a DATING SITE,not a HANG OUT site. She then responds "didn't you see I only wanted to hang out?" Nope! I never looked, and as things were progressing, I thought it was in natural order for someone who wanted to take things slow. Well......what it comes down to is that I cancelled a few REAL DATES, to meet and HANG OUT with someone who never wanted a relationship to begin with. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!!! boy do I feel dumb! I guess when I/some people want something so badly the overlook certain things, but looking back all the signs were there!
The Man

The Man Who Cried Love

2011-03-30T19:52:00.000-04:00

Having someone say "I love you" is suppose to be a pretty big step in a relationship. But, how do you know it's true love and not just lust masked with firework hopes and dreams?
It seems like so many people feel pressured into the exposing themselves and going out of their comfort zone for a grand ideal that appears closer than it ever really was. A stranger becomes a lover without much thought. The carefree vision of love and happiness keeps you high until one day the hot air balloon comes crashing down to earth.
What was never said is what will remain. Maybe some words are to little, to late, but then if this is true love never existed at all. If you walk away without a fight you never were running towards happiness to begin with.
What were you thinking talking to a stranger? The candy was counterfeit, but it's to late now you eat it all up and your stomach is rumbling in pain.
There was no cake, no card, no flowers just an empty room where love once lived.
Happy belated birthday to me. Dirty 30 here I come.
Kate