Saturday, October 16, 2010

Tainted Love

Some say our present relationships are based upon a past love. Perhaps it was our "first love", our most attractive, the one who seemed perfect, the one who screwed us over, broke our heart, or just someone who made that kind of impact. This utterly changed us forever and since them, we've based our relationships upon them. Is this true? Perhaps. But I know personally I do think we all have that one person.
Here's mine...I was 25 she was 19. She was a model, perfect body/hair/eyes/legs/breasts and so on. My picture perfect woman. The type of woman you imagine when you lay in bed at night and wish you could always meet. Here goes the crazy part: I frequented a establishment she worked at, I never showed her any interest because I thought she was way out of my league. One day she approached me and asked if I wanted to go out some time. I responded "no thanks". I thought she was just messing with my head. As I was beginning to leave, her friend approached me and told me "hey what's up with you? #$@#%^* just went in the bathroom crying because you turned her down" WHAT????? B.S. I thought. Nope, she really was. I then felt so stupid I gave my number to her friend and told her to give it to @$%^$*. I then rushed to the nearest florist and bought the best bouquet of flowers I could afford to hopefully win her forgiveness. But at the same time I didn't want her to think that I thought I was way out of her league. My plan worked perfectly and we were inseparable from that day on. Two weeks later we moved in. I was the happiest man in the world. Only one problem.... She was a banana magnet! Every dude everywhere we went disrespected me by staring, trying to hook up, handing numbers, buying drinks and I'm sure much more. She wanted me, and only me at that point, so their efforts went to no avail. This type of relationship plays madness on your mind as well. You begin to ask yourself "why me?".. Well to answer that great question; I was in a place in my life where everything was going my way, money, work, friends, etc. But as is life, everything comes to an end. One Christmas morning I/we get a knock on the door. I answer and who's there? The Dr. who did her implants. I then asked "what were you doing here?" he replied, "picking up my girlfriend". WHAT THE FUCK!!!! Yup as she was "working" in Palm Beach, she was actually meeting up with him. I should have watched the signs that were leading up to that point. She received calls (after the surgery) from the Dr. himself and not the nurses, her love for money had grown, caller id was cleared when I checked who called during the day, and the money she was making couldn't have bought the many gifts she received.
I’m guessing this is the one who changed everything for me. I never really thought about it before I read the article on Who Changed You. I did get my "answers", my closure, and remain friends to this day. Years later she called, out of the blue, and asked, "How I was doing?" I was actually on vacation at a resort at the time and replied "great". She then began the apologies and explained herself. Me being cocky, I asked, "What are you doing now?" nothing she replied. I then told her to go to the airport; there will be a first class ticket. The driver will bring you here. Call me when you are half hour away so I can come in from the boat. She came, answered my questions, and I got my closure. Money was what turned her on at that prior point in her life, and now I had tons! Laughing inside as she asked "would you ever forgive me and want to see each other again?" Sure...I said. HA!!! I was destroyed on that Christmas Day. Now it was all in my hands. We had a great weekend, and I sent her on her way. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, but many times we think it might be different. Don't feel bad for wanting what you thought you had. Here are two quotes I live by: Maybe it's true we don't know what we had until we lost it.... but it is also true we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.” It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but its even harder to give up, especially when it is everything you ever wanted."
Life is full of tough decisions, never regret the past, never leave unanswered questions, and live like you're dying. Hope you're having a great weekend.
The Man

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